Showing posts with label Laughing News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughing News. Show all posts

5/28/14

Laughing News 5/28/14

In The Headlines

              Viagra Ice Cream Exists And Yes, It's Blue

          That's right folks, UK food inventor Charlie Harry Francis has invented an ice cream blend using the erection drug Viagra for a celebrities party.  He calls his Viagra ice cream Arousal and each blue, bubbly champagne flavored scoopful of Arousal ice cream is equal to taking a 25mg Viagra pill.  It is estimated the ice cream would be worth $33 a scoop so, of course it isn't available yet at your local supermarket next to your Blue Bunny but, if you'd like to solve your soft willy troubles and satisfy your sweet tooth at the same time then keep your fingers crossed for Viagra to become cheap enough for Dairy Queen to make an Arousal Blizzard.

               Teacher Makes Students 'Pay To Potty'

          Parents are upset in Vancouver Washington because the elementary school has instituted a new policy that students must now pay to use the restroom.  The schools policy is called, no shit, 'Pay To Potty', and the way it works is that the students earn fake school money for being good in class and then they can spend that money to go to the bathroom during class.  This has the parents of the Mill Plain Elementary School very upset because if the student spends all of his money on other things in the student store and he or she can't afford a trip to the potty the student is just out of luck.

     Cat attacks dog to save child

          A young boy in California was riding his bike out in his driveway when a stray dog viciously attacked him and pulled him by his leg off of his bike on to the ground.  At that point the childs cat pounces the dog like a wild cheetah taking down a gazelle and chased it all the way out of the childs yard saving the boy.  The whole event was captured on the family's security video cameras and the video has gone viral.  The video is just absolutely amazing, check it out with this link right here, Hero cat saves child from dog  Since saving the little boy the cat has become famous and even just threw out the first pitch at a local minor league baseball game.  He was quoted as saying that being famous and throwing out the pitch was nice and all but that he'd rather have his nuts and claws back.

Sports News

     - Peyton Manning is a woman and was arrested in a drug bust.

10 Ways To Fix The NBA Draft Lottery

"Wear Sunscreen" Graduation Speeches By Famous Athletes

4/13/13

Laughing News, vol7

Laughing News, vol7
Comedy news you can trust

In The Headlines...

     Cookie Monster attacked a 2yr old boy in Times Square because the child's parents couldn't supply the $2 for the picture they had taken with the monster quickly enough.  When Cookie Monster demanded his payment and was told he would have to wait while the father of the boy got some cash, he became enraged and pushed the stroller so hard the boy flew out into the street.  Elmo, who also posed for the picture, couldn't be reached for comment.


     A southwest Ohio day care worker has been charged with assault for biting a 5 year old child to teach him not to bite others.  The 56 year old day care worker, who is apparently a moron, was released without bail because our justice system is inept.


     In Montana a man who doesn't carry a wallet on advice from his chiropractor has $500 eaten by his dog.  When he had stopped for dinner he left the dog in the car with 5 $100 bills and a $1 bill.  The dog ate all the hundreds but left the dollar unharmed because it's all about the Benjamin's baby.  The man salvaged the scraps of the money from the dogs droppings, and sent them into the treasury in hopes of having it returned to him.

2/8/13

Laughing News, vol6




Laughing News vol6

Free. Comedy. News. You Can Trust.

Today in the headlines..,


Too bad, no one else does...





But, I'd rather be uncool than stupid. Click here to laugh at 'Stupid People Love To Talk'.  A big part of my hairstyle choice is my receding hairline. I accept it but click here to laugh at 'Perfect Comb-Overs', our joke about these delusional dudes.  Grown Men with pictures of ripped, half naked men on their T-Shirts is kinda a little gay. Click here to read 'Wrestling's Gay' to laugh at the complete theory now!  I posted this piece and actually had a Google+ argument with someone. Amazing...Come laugh at the Atheist religion.



     Stupidity is an epidemic in the world today.  It affects most of the worlds population and annoys the rest of it.  If left unchecked the entire Earth's population could be stupid or fed up by 2014 Say's Harvard scientist Ray Smith.  He added, 'The stupid breed like rabbits and seem to be unstoppable.  I'm afraid we are all doomed.'  He started to cry and then said, 'My wife is dumb as a wet, busted brick. And my new baby really concerns me.  He just stares at his Cheerios blankly and smiles for hours.'.   I hugged Dr. Smith for twenty minutes while he cried and repeated he had a loaded gun in his desk for a full half hour before press time.

Tell me that sh*t ain't creepy!






     This doll is hella creepy.  I found it and can't get it out of my head so, welcome to my nightmares...










12/15/12

Last to the Party, episode 7


Last to the Party,
episode 7

“Welcome to ‘Last to the Party', where I share the funny videos I’m just finding out about with all of you out there  who are as un-cool as I am… If you’re not as un-cool as me and you’re seeing this just be cool about it.  Laugh politely for whoever is showing you this OK.  You don’t have to be a d*ck.

                Today I’m going to share Don Cheadle's interpretation of Captain Planet in the Captain's third film.  Painted blue and cool as hell Captain smooths out Earths environmental problems.  You gotta click the link on this one because I couldn't get the 'ol Blog to find the video but the link's good.  Because of the whole link thingy I've included a bonus  video.  Watch it too, and Laugh!  Enjoy!
 

11/14/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 11/14/12


 American's love food so, we're fat.  But just How Fat Are We Going To Get?  Click that link to find out or click on Fat Athletes to read our tribute to sports fat folks can excel at.  For more on embarrasing things that can happen when your fat check out Busted Button.  Another great fat people joke to check out here is Fat Cops.


 This guy sure does love Jeff Gordon.  Read our piece on NASCAR, NASCAR; the sport of trash, right here.  Or check out these great pieces Dog the Bounty Hunter; White Trash Perfection, or Hicks Are Scary.

11/2/12

Laughing News - Celebrity News, 11/2/12

Hockey is locked out and, Wayne Gretzky's Daughter is smoking hot.  However, Gretzky says "You can't date her."  "I don't want anyone dating my Daughter especially not a broke amateur blogger."  He even added he wouldn't even let Chuck Norris at her no matter how crazy tough Chuck may be.

Britney Spears' Family wins case against Sam Lufti although Britney accidentally swallowed a penny.  Brit's OK but, she said the penny was totally gross.
Edward Furlong was arrested in an airport from what the source of all things important, TMZ, says for beating his girlfriend during an argument.  What happened to the cute little kid in T2 that was teaching the killing machine manners?  We at Laughing News feel that every Woman put him and all abusers on lock-down from the loving so we can maybe weed the 'Douchebag' gene out of existence forever. 

10/22/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 10/22/12

Sometimes you just have a bad day
Does the Man got you down?  We have the jokes for you.  Read Its On and lets laugh while we get ready to rise up.  Also check out Dropping the "F" Bomb for my piece on my favorite word.  God don't make filth is also a great piece on the wrongs of censorship.  As a bonus we have Wait for a funny pic. 

Someone needs to save that dog!
If you're thinking about getting married, DON'T.  For more on this subject check out Evil/Ex-Wife, or Married Pillowtalk, or Married Quotes and also, Monumental Lies vol1

10/12/12

Laughing News, vol5


Laughing News vol5

Comedy. News. Trust

Today in the headlines..,



I agree with Willie,  Y'all deserve that.  Not all of you but some of you.  The fact that I still see Romney signs in my town and my towns poor just blows my mind.  In fact, a lot of what I see out there troubles me.  Let's open our eyes already people.  How can anyone who isn't rich support Romney?  I mean hell, if you don't wanna vote for Obama, you can still write in Ron Paul.  Honestly though, I'd love to see Obama get a 2nd term, that Key & Peele Obama Anger Translator sketch is hilarious.
   






Psychic's aren't just cold hustlers, they also make stupid people very happy by allowing them to pay them money to hear what they want to hear.  The stupid find much value in psychic's and even though their getting ripped off we say fk 'em, they're stupid.  For more on the stupid read Stupid People Love To Talk.


 




These girls are pretty but, I don't trust 'em.  Nothings free, and chicks lie.  Especially hot chicks.  Well, maybe that isn't fair.  I'm just jaded because my first wife was a soul less pathological liar who sucked my soul dry.  For more on my adventures in marriage with a succubus read, Evil/Ex-Wife, or for more info you can also check out Fat Cheating Whore






9/28/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 9/28/12



It's very clear that we love us some white trash here at Laughing at Life 2.  They're just endlessly entertaining.  Even if your not white trash though Being White Is Hard.  If you don't think so click that link and find out how wrong you are.  Money's tight so here is a Budget Sex Game for you from us.  Enjoy.  Even though our economy is busted we as a people are still growing in girth.  Click here to find out How Fat Are We Going To Get.  Or check out our latest one Mullets, Bumper Stickers and Fat Chicks in Tight Clothes, about Hicks and just plain old Stupid People.  Plus don't forget these Laughing at Life 2 favorites...Hicks Are Scary, and another favorite, Nascar, The Sport of Trash



Women are another thing we love here but, who doesn't?  Women are amazing.  They're beautiful, they drive you wild, and they make you crazy.  They're nuts but, I love 'Em.  Read our latest piece, Girls Love Drama, or the other great jokes from Laughing at Life 2 like, Harpo's Cakes, It Says 'Juicy' on YOUR Butt?, When Will Women Listen, and Fat Cheating Whore.  Plus my favorite, Strong, Hard Wiener - You Gotta Give Her Enough

9/13/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 9/13/12

Keeping track of everything is hard.

We know here at Laughing News how busy you are and how hard it is to keep up with all the great jokes and wisdom shared here at Laughing at Life 2 so we want to help you.  A lot of funny stuff has happened here you need to check out.  First lets talk about the newest 'Last to the Party'. The Siri Argument video is hilarious and you should click this link now and go watch it.  Another recent comedy goldmine here is Laughing News vol4 with great hilarious news for you so click here for that.  We have also done many great tribute pieces and articles like, Joe Motherfing Pesci Y'all, NEWS FLASH - Tiger Woods is just a man, plus great pieces on Howard Stern and my hero in comedy Bill Hicks.

Women don't need us.  That's really scary cuz we do need them. 
Laughing at Life 2 loves women and we show it with great jokes dedicated to the girls.  Our tribute piece to females, Let the panties hit the floor shows this love.  We also try to educate our readers with our informative piece, Strong, Hard Wiener - You gotta give her enough.  We even emphasize the dangers in our piece on Female Orgasm Equipment which is important because guys, we are replaceable.  And, let us not forget, our beautiful piece against breast cancer Me, On Breasts.

9/6/12

Tiger Woods Is Only A Man



News Flash Society -Tiger Woods is not the only man that loves sex and women. It comes standard with most penises. Any straight man given Tigers options could fall prey to our genitals just like he did. Our penis owns us ladies. I'm sorry but its a fact. We are nothing but it's slave.

Why else do you think we are also yours?

8/20/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 8/20/12


Tyler realized at an early age that the world was full of A-Holes





I agree with Tyler, people suck.  Here are a few great hilarious examples of important jokes you can read to learn more.  Click here for our expose on A-Hole drivers, 'Drive it like you stole it'., Also click this link to read, 'Monumental Lies vol1', a hilarious piece on the lie that communication is the key to a happy relationship., You can also and should also read these two hilariously informative pieces on marriage, 'Fat Cheating Whore', and 'Evil Ex-Wife'

Yee-Haw!!!
It's hard to see past all the tacky white trash but there is actually a cool gun in this picture.  Also just past the skank you'll see what seems to be two hicks and one is clearly holding the main ingredient in the hillbilly diet, cheap beer.  If you want to avoid rolling over and seeing a 'girl' like this in your very own bed click here to read our expose on the dangers of 'Beer Goggles'.  For even more hilarious information on hicks read these other important pieces, First we have our diffinitive piece on hicks, 'Hicks are Scary' right here, then you should also check out this great piece on their favorvite "sport", Nascar, the sport of trash' by clicking this link, Plus theres even this great redneck piece, 'Big rigs on the highway - 18 wheels and 7 teeth. 

Click below for more..,

8/17/12

Laughing News, vol4


Laughing News vol4


Comedy. News. Trust

Today in the headlines..,

New studies have confirmed what women have known for centuries.  Men are stupid.  "The male brain is useless."  Scientist Wendy Miller who led the Harvard study said.  "All of a males decisions are made by their penises and women have always known this and used it to manipulate them into everything they have ever done."  She added.  When asked if she feared that releasing this information would be harmfull to women she replied, "Weren't you listening?  They are morons.  There is no threat to women because wieners can't read."  For more on how stupid men are read these great Laughing at Life pieces - 'Conversation With a Scammer' about how the porn industry exploits male stupidity. And for even more proof you can also read, 'Which ways the right way' a piece about how men need a woman to help them with EVERYTHING!



Fat people are EVERYWHERE.  Look around, you can't miss them.  America has a HUGE obesity problem but we at Laughing News see that as a plus.  Food is good and we have it so go U.S.A!  Plus Laughing at Life wouldn't have so many great fat jokes without all those big belly's around.  Need some examples?  Read Weights are heavy, Busted Button, or even Fat Cops/Girthy Gunslingers and you'll see how much joy all that fat can bring.




Sure it looks hard for this woman to drive but just look at those fun bags!  She may be top heavy but on her back I bet she is a TON of fun.  We at Laughing News and Laughing at Life love boobies.  Need more proof and laughs just read Me on Breasts for proof and smiles.


News on the go..,
- Hulk smash everything, nothing left for Hulk to smash, Hulk sad.
- A turtle crossed the road today only to have forgotten what he went across the road for.
- Local woman upset that steroids have ruined her boyfriends wiener.  "It's super tiny and limp now and just looks ridiculous under all those gross muscles"  she was quoted as saying.

8/13/12

Last to the Party, episode 3


Last to the Party,
episode 3

“Welcome to ‘Last to the Party', where I share the funny videos I’m just finding out about with all of you out there  who are as un-cool as I am… If you’re not as un-cool as me and your seeing this just be cool about it.  Laugh politely for whoever is showing you this OK.  You don’t have to be a d*ck”

                Today I’m going to share ‘Jake and Amir’ from the guys at College Humor with you guys here.  'Jake and Amir' is a web series about two guys, one named Jake and the other Amir, who somehow keep their jobs despite their constant hijinks.  Jake is the pairs straightman and Amir the doofus constantly causing trouble.  I find their adventures in stupidity hilarious and hopefully you will too.  Just click below to see a sample video of this comedy duo in action...

8/2/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 8/2/12

Chad Kroeger asked my kid sister at a party I made up in my mind why no one leaves any comments here at Laughing 2 or why no one 'likes' and shares the funny from Laughing at Life 2's amazing funny jokes with all their computer friends on Facebook or Twitter but yet Part 2 is also very popular and still gets so many hits each and every day?

She told him she didn't know but our best guess is y'all must be ashamed of us or something like that...

Anyway, heres some news that broke, for you, from us,

   Socks and Sex is a new joke here that has it all...It's cute, i'ts about sex, the pic is really cool. I love it and you will too click this link to laugh! Click this link now for Socks and Sex!  It's crazy how popular that Socks and Sex joke has gotten but I'm glad because it was always a favorite of mine.  You should read it, I think it might break 100 hits soon.  Another sweet post to check out unless you hate laughing is Sex is Harder For Guys. You should click here and read it Now! I would, it's redonkulously funny.



Prove us wrong and comment or even like and share...hell, go nuts.  It's your party...Another adorable joke we have here and our number 2 current all time favorite post is Penis Enlargement Pills. It's seriously clever and hilariously cute. Click here and laugh as you read it Now!  For even more suprisingly clean and tremendously clever sex jokes try Penis Piercing. It's cute and clever and about Penis Piercing so how could you go wrong? Click here and go laugh about Penis Piercings..,




Our Howard Stern tribute piece, Howard Stern - King of all media, and my future boss, is doing really well round here too though. Click here to read it right away as well.  Lots of people already have and you can too. 
I'm glad the piece on Howard is being seen by so many but, I always wished our Bill Hicks tribute piece would have taken off more. It still can if you click here and learn about stand-up comedy's best, Bill Hicks, now!!! 
Anyway's, remember, we love you guys here at Laughing 2 and hey, remember this 2 theres always more funny so don't leave and also remember to share the funny...you can even click here to head back to main page for more funny and even more laughs..,
If y'all are ashamed and can't share us it's OK...Y'all can still comment here to us.  Talk at us and tell us what your liking or anything like you saved a ton on car insurance,  your dog had puppies, whatever...seriously, long as your cool and not a racist douche or something we'd love to hear from you.  I mean of course we would your our readers.  We love you!

Click this link, for Questions my son asked, #1 which is Hilarious.
Also while your here check out these other great new jokes too...like, Beer Goggles, or Our expose on truckers and semi's out on the highway. Not a of themll, just the jerks. It's called, Big Rigs on the Highway - 18 wheels and 7 teeth of death, and don't miss our best Laughing At about Celebrities yet. Laughing At - Celebrities.  Click any of those you want to read and laugh at now too and you'll go there and laugh.  You should do it.  Why not you know?  I mean, free laughs is free laughs.
Either way...click these links to laugh or don't just remember, we love ya.  Let us know what your thinking, comment, like and share Laughing at Life 2.  Quit being so stingy with the funny.  That is everyone except my Google + people.  You guys rock!




Click the Sumo's for a Free, Funny, Fat joke right now!!!  Did you click 'Em?  Oh, you already read Button...funny stuff huh? 

7/27/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 7/27/12

Because honestly boys, most of you, have a lot to lean about Strong.  Trust me because you know how I am when I'm on Diet soda y'all.., 
I get way too honest and I just start to tell it like it is like a hood rat.
Oh, and by the way, if I offended you then don't click here. this link goes to our joke page, Laughing Jokes, and if I upset you, you'll still laugh but you'll be offended when you done.  The rest of y'all cool kids should click it right now unless your trying not to laugh.


The only cops that never feel like jerks to me are the love able fat ones.  Even the jerk douche ones are SO damn funny.  Okay so this cops not all that fat but he's still fat enough to be funny.  Plus, look at him, he's adorable...Fat cops are my favorite, read Fat Cops/Girthy Gunslingers, right now. Click here unless you hate laughing at funny fat cops. 
I hope you clicked and read that fat cop joke because, it's not only a great fat joke it makes fun of cops which is like, you know, always super funny. 
I got another funny fat joke bout Oprah too that's great just click right here for Harpo's Cakes


Why do women love cheesy romance novels? Who knows but if you click here we have a funny guess.   Did you click the link?  Why not?  Its funny and informative.
I actually think we've totally  figured this phenomenon out y'all.  And, in a smartass and sarcastic way.  The pics are even great.  Click it and tell me I'm wrong.  Or if your not gonna click on that I also highly recommend this Hilarious joke about chicks wearing their socks during sex. Cute sex joke, click here!


Did you read this months Laughing At? Click here right now to laugh at celebrities like Batman and Robin and Charlie Sheen.  You should click it and read it because its hilarious.  Plus, the Batman piece is not only super funny, it's also just such the sweetest damn love story too.   
Show your support for arguably stand-up comedy's best ever. Click here and read my tribute piece to my hero in comedy, Bill Hicks - Comedy Legend, Comic Genius, and spread the word on Bill by sharing it with all your favorite Internet friends.  Click and share that Hicks piece for Bill.  He was the best and had so much more to say.  The message he did get to leave though is one that should be spread.

Breaking News just coming in...I love you guys!  Share my stuff with those you love to help them laugh.  Because, lets face it, even ugly people look better when they smile.  So quit hogging the funny and share!


This has been a Laughing News, Breaking Update for 7/27/12 stuffed with up to the minute and crucial to your day jokes.

Bye, 4 now...

7/19/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 7/19/12


Best afro ever? I think so.

How can a word be dirty?

Laughing News, vol3


Laughing News vol3

Comedy. News. To Trust. With Laughs


Today in the headlines..,

A local man went crazy from a flu injection at Walgreen's today in Louisville.  Police say the man has been released back into the care of his mother but has also went totally balls out nuts.  "He grabbed the really fat nurses butt with both hands and asked her to clean his kitchen" Officer Frank Brown told LN reporters.  "He totally did, with both hands." agreed Walgreen's nurse Bree Holden 23 of ridge park. "His eyes were crazy as shit the whole time too." she added.


Sunday a lot of players and coaches were upset by many on field calls by referee's in sports like in this picture because a lot of refs suck real bad says a new observation by college freshman Lyle Bendass.  "I noticed a bunch of times refs seemed not only stupid but blind too."  Bendass added.  LN studies showed similar results in every sport from the pro levels down to little league.  For more sports news click here to read Laughing At, Sports... 



Oprah is very upset all because Rosie loves Shawn's classic Oprah joke from his comedy blog Laughing at Life 2.  O'Donnell claims that she apologised to Oprah and even told the Queen of television she wished the joke wasn't so damn funny but it just really is.  "I told Oprah it was just clever and only a joke.  I didn't think she was really fat. It was just funny.., Shawn's funny"  Rosie then signed frustrated and added, "Look, it's cute, fire me."  Oprah did.  Click here to read the joke that got Rosie fired...


The biggest criminal and traitor in the free world still roams free and 9/11 remains a cover-up to this day despite logic or good reason of any kind.  No one of power or authority seems concerned as of yet of this phenomenon though so fingers crossed on justice folks.., "It's gotta be coming right Mr. Reporter?" A young child asked our reporter on camera.  He only frowned and said he didn't know, and neither do we.

News on the go..,
- - Studies show Grateful Dead isn't as amazing without a ton a pot.
- - My wife and I cannot ever agree on what temperature our house should be so in other words I'm too hot!  More married quotes here...
- - This just in, Dee's Nuts.  Sex is harder for guys to learn more...
- - Some women need more wiener, read;  Strong, Hard, Wiener for more...

- - Stupidity is rampant in our society today and no one is safe. The decline of society is imminent.  However, in other news, reality TV has never been better or juicier.  

7/10/12

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 7/10/12

 The Bald 'Curly"  Mullet.

I'm not this guy yet right?  No, totally not, at least I don't have the balding guy curly mullet.  I am about that fat though and, I am usually smoking..,"
I paused, looked around and saw nothing and just said "Sh*t, maybe I am a douche!" 

Mudflaps from cowboy hungry, boots girl here to Yosemite Sam and also any bumper sticker knows the truth. 


Last to the Party, episode 2


Last to the Party,
episode 2

“Welcome to ‘Last to the Party,’ where I share the funny videos I’m just finding out about with all of you as un-cool as I am.  If you’re not as un-cool as me just be cool about it.  Laugh politly for whoever is showing you this, don’t be a d*ck”


                Today I’m going to share Zach Galafanakis’ web, celebrity interview,  talk show ‘Between Two Ferns’ with y'all. 
                 On 'Between Two Ferns' Galafanakis interviews different celebrities using his biting sarcasm and quick wit instead of real or typical interview questions creating akward and hilariously funny celebrity interviews.  
                 Below I have included an example episode with Will Ferrell as a guest.  If you like it you should definatly find the episode with Steve Carell, and I also highly reccomend the one he did with Natalie Portman. 
                Those are both really great ones but I love them all.  If you haven't seen 'Between Two Ferns' click below to watch..,