4/19/13

Quick Fixes To ALL Your Problems!

     ALWAYS tackle your life's problems the quickest and easiest way you possibly can.  Try not to think at all, it just wastes time.  Trust me, I've solved all of my life's problems in the fastest and simplest way I possibly could and I'm doing AWESOME!
     The first step is drastically lowering your standard of what awesome is to a reachable level.  If you think your quality of life is low, it isn't, your standards are just way too high.  Be realistic, know what your limits are, and what you can achieve with the amount of effort you are willing to put in.  The second thing you need to do is stop caring.  If you don't care, you can't be disappointed.  So, stop caring, and you'll be happy in no time.  Third, and most importantly, avoid all your problems so that they can't bother you.  Are bill collectors hounding you?  Ask yourself, why am I answering the phone?  God invented caller id for a reason, shame on you if your not using it.
     See, all of your problems are now fixed, and you have plenty of time left for you, the only person that matters.  All that's left for you to do now is to send me $49.99 for fixing your life for you.  Once you do that you will finally feel complete. Oh, and by the way, your welcome.

18 comments:

  1. Damn! To think I've been doing everything the hard way *still laughing*

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    1. It makes me sad to think of all that wasted effort. Glad I could help.

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  2. Well, there you have it then.
    Thank you for fixing my problems. ;)

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    1. Your welcome, thanks for the $49.99. I'm sure it will be in my mailbox soon.

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  3. This is actually very good advise :-)

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  4. Who puts their real phone number on credit applications? Amateurs.

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    Replies
    1. Now see, you probably already knew these secrets. Lol.

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  5. Lowering my standards-that's easy, have you seen some of the men I've dated?
    Stop caring-that's why gin was invented.
    Avoid all problems-and we're back to gin.

    Sound advice Mr Yankey. Can I get a discount? There's a recession on...and I'm skint.

    Great post Shawn. :)

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    1. I'm assuming skint means broke, and baby I'm extra skint. I really hope skint means broke...

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    2. Heehee, no, it means sexually available...just kidding! It does indeed mean broke. :)

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  6. I feel so blessed to be in the presence of greatness on this blog. I just implemented everything you said in the last two minutes, and I'm now feeling PERFECT!! Thanks, dude! ;)

    #atozchallenge, Kristen's blog: kristenhead.blogspot.com

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  7. lol @ using caller id for bill collectors. You're right. Measurable goals are the way to achieving greatness.

    Chontali Kirk
    chontalikirk.blogspot.com

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  8. Ha ha, you make it all sound so easy! I wish I could stop caring about some stuff and lowering standards!

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    1. You can. Step one takes care of step two.

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  9. Yay! What a great post - and you totally deserve the $49.99. I'd send it to you, but I forgot to check the caller ID, bill collectors got to me, and alas, I don't have the money anymore. Better luck next month! :-)

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    1. Ay least now you'll know what to do in the future :)

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