Laughing News, vol5

Laughing News vol5

Comedy. News. Trust

Today in the headlines..,

I agree with Willie,  Y'all deserve that.  Not all of you but some of you.  The fact that I still see Romney signs in my town and my towns poor just blows my mind.  In fact, a lot of what I see out there troubles me.  Let's open our eyes already people.  How can anyone who isn't rich support Romney?  I mean hell, if you don't wanna vote for Obama, you can still write in Ron Paul.  Honestly though, I'd love to see Obama get a 2nd term, that Key & Peele Obama Anger Translator sketch is hilarious.
   

Psychic's aren't just cold hustlers, they also make stupid people very happy by allowing them to pay them money to hear what they want to hear.  The stupid find much value in psychic's and even though their getting ripped off we say fk 'em, they're stupid.  For more on the stupid read Stupid People Love To Talk.

 




These girls are pretty but, I don't trust 'em.  Nothings free, and chicks lie.  Especially hot chicks.  Well, maybe that isn't fair.  I'm just jaded because my first wife was a soul less pathological liar who sucked my soul dry.  For more on my adventures in marriage with a succubus read, Evil/Ex-Wife, or for more info you can also check out Fat Cheating Whore. 

News on the go..,

Women need drama to survive and Men need vagina so basically, we're all just screwed.  For more read Girls Love Drama.

America is a fat country but how do you know when your fat enough to be American?  To find out read How Fat Are We Gonna Get.

Grown ass men walking around with pictures of other buff grown ass men on their T-Shirts and watching them roll around together all grunting and sweaty each Monday is gay.  Read more in our piece Wrestling's Gay.

Modern science has yet to cure AIDS, Cancer, Alzheimer's, Obesity or Stupidity but, there is a cure for soft wiener.  I think this proves our societies priorities are fk'd up.  Read more in our piece Unnatural Boners.

This just in - Sex feels great.  Who cares if she's wearing socks.  Read Socks and Sex for more.

Celebrity News..,

- The female rap duo Salt-N-Pepa released a statement that their hit song 'Push It' wasn't about sex at all.  It was about moving a couch.  Salt was quoted as saying, "Damn Cracker are you stupid?  You don't push during sex you pump.  Y'all are nasty!".  Pepa just shook her head and walked away in disgust.  I was amazed because as a youth I had sex in the back of a Buick to that song and felt I understood it.

- Is Chris Brown's wiener magical or does Rihanna just love his right hook?

- Jesus had a tough life.  I read about that guy.  Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the FK out of everybody! -- Sam Kinison  Read our tribute to Sam, Funny as Hell - The Sam Kinison Tribute here!

Columns and Editorials..,

Welcome back to 'Ask Earl-Ray'.  I'm Earl-Ray, and once again none of y'all asked any damn questions.  Well, I gotta keep this job for tax purposes to cover up my secret Meth lab so today I'm going to talk about something that I think is on lots of y'all's minds.  Pet's watching you have sex.  My pet's are always doing that.  Now, I can't say I blame them.  Earl-Ray definitely knows how to drive stick but, I saw my cat watching me have sex last night and from the look he was given' me I thought, 'Damn, I must look ridiculous'.  I don't know if it was because of all the screaming, or 'cuz my panties are way too small and my coin purse kept popping out, or if it was just because I was all alone.  What I do know is that furry bastard should stop judging me and respect my privacy.  

Thanks for coming and come back soon!