Comedy. News. Trust
Today in the headlines..,
New studies have confirmed what women have known for centuries. Men are stupid. "The male brain is useless." Scientist Wendy Miller who led the Harvard study said. "All of a males decisions are made by their penises and women have always known this and used it to manipulate them into everything they have ever done." She added. When asked if she feared that releasing this information would be harmfull to women she replied, "Weren't you listening? They are morons. There is no threat to women because wieners can't read." For more on how stupid men are read these great Laughing at Life pieces - 'Conversation With a Scammer' about how the porn industry exploits male stupidity. And for even more proof you can also read, 'Which ways the right way' a piece about how men need a woman to help them with EVERYTHING!
Fat people are EVERYWHERE. Look around, you can't miss them. America has a HUGE obesity problem but we at Laughing News see that as a plus. Food is good and we have it so go U.S.A! Plus Laughing at Life wouldn't have so many great fat jokes without all those big belly's around. Need some examples? Read Weights are heavy, Busted Button, or even Fat Cops/Girthy Gunslingers and you'll see how much joy all that fat can bring.
Sure it looks hard for this woman to drive but just look at those fun bags! She may be top heavy but on her back I bet she is a TON of fun. We at Laughing News and Laughing at Life love boobies. Need more proof and laughs just read Me on Breasts for proof and smiles.
News on the go..,
- Hulk smash everything, nothing left for Hulk to smash, Hulk sad.
- A turtle crossed the road today only to have forgotten what he went across the road for.
- Local woman upset that steroids have ruined her boyfriends wiener. "It's super tiny and limp now and just looks ridiculous under all those gross muscles" she was quoted as saying.
Tom Cruise recently announced that even though he has been pretending to be a straight man for more than 50 years it is still by far his toughest acting role. "I've tried everything." He said adding, "I've convinced sexy hollywood starlets into being beards for my homosexuality in exchange for futhering thier carreers and have also tried very hard through my involvement in Scientology to distract people from the whole gay thing by focusing instead on how I'm also totally batshit crazy but people still continue to focus mostly on my intense wiener lust." Laughing News feels it was Tom's involvement in the homo-erotic classic film 'Top Gun' that sealed his fate but also attemted to get a comment from Tom's most recent and hottest beard Katie Holmes but could not reach her because she is too busy with satisfying years of pent up wiener lust of her very own.
Columns and Editorials..,
Welcome to 'Ask Earl-Ray'. Laughing News new editorial by our expert on everything, Earl-Ray Wilson.
Hey Y'all, I'm Earl-Ray and Laughing News done asked me to educate it's readers in some of my vast hillbilly wisdom but none of y'all joke reading bastards bothered to ask me nuthin. Apparently you couldn't tell from the way I pull off the whole black panty look or even from seeing me spread out on my big boy bed surrounded by all my guns and guitars just how knowledgable I really am. Well, fk y'all then. Learn your own stuff all by yourself you damn ingrates. I ain't got time for no damn job anyway. I gotta go punch my wife in her tooth and finish mixin up my meth batch in the bathtub anyway. Hell, you don't think black panties, guns, and guitars buy themselves do you.
Sit down chuckle-heads, its time for 'Ask Becky'
It's me Becky and I'm giving advice so listen up..,
My first question this month comes from Ricky J. who asked, "Hey Becky, why won't you return my phone calls?" Well Ricky J., it's probably because I let you buy me drinks all night and enter my gina bcuz you claimed to be good in bed but in fact your stroke was short and weak. You need to read Shawn's great piece for improving your stroke; 'Strong, Hard Wiener, you gotta give her enough' by clicking here, but still lose my phone number cuz now that I'm at Laughing News, I'm going after Shawn.
That's it I guess because y'all were too scared to ask me any other questions. You were all probably too afraid of the truth like Ricky J. should have been. See you next time suckers!