Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips

  1. Don't ever talk to Zombies.
  2. NEVER stop running, ever!
  3. Don't ever sleep.
  4. Trust no one! Not even your Mom and kill EVERYONE that you even think might be a Zombie.
  5. Shoot first, Always.
  6. Avoid slow moving and ugly people, they might be Zombies.
  7. Have at least 1 fat friend at ALL times.  If he/she gets eaten, find a new fat friend IMMEDIATELY!
  8. Collect guns and bullets like ten year old boys collect baseball cards.
  9. Beware of expiration dates when stokpiling food. Canned food is good but, junk food is better.
  10. If someone knocks on your door shoot first then answer it.
  11. Beware of bush. Zombies could be hiding in them.
  12. Always check your closet and under your bed for Zombies before relaxing.
  13. Coat your doorknobs with Vaseline so Zombies can't open them.
  14. Always wash your hands. Who knows how we got the Zombies? Might be from germs. Coat yourself in Purrel ALWAYS.
  15. Go all the way when killing a Zombie. There is no such thing as too many headshots.


  1. Haha! I love this! I have to agree with most of these, but especially #s 8 & 12. And I never would have thought of #13! I finally feel ready for the ZA!

    1. Thanks! I hope I am ready too. I like to think so but, only time will tell. JK


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