Howard Stern, King of ALL Media. My future boss and also yet another hero of mine,

     I'm a Howard Stern fan. I have been even before ever hearing his actual radio show, I became a fan after seeing his movie "Private Parts" ever since then I was a fan. Soon after seeing his movie the Stern show finally made it's way to St. Louis's radio waves and from the moment I first heard it I was immediately hooked.

      I listened religiously, every day, and to the entire show from tortured man to Fred's plugs at the end. Up until that point I had NEVER paid any real attention at all to any radio personality before Howard nor have I any since. I doubt I could have even named another DJ on the air other than Casey Casum and even Casey with his golden pipes couldn't hold my attention through even a single long distance dedication to a three legged puppy in Wisconsin or whatever it was he did besides bringing voice to my man, and stoner legend, Shaggy. Scooby Doo's owner, best friend, and loyal smoke 'n toke partner.

     Howard Stern is talented. That is just a fact. Anyone who denies that is either jealous or just a moron because its undeniable. He has developed and mastered a simple formula for compelling interesting and entertaining talk radio as well as writing two best selling novels and carrying his own biopic starring as himself.

     Well his formula is seemingly simple but I know I have never heard anyone come anywhere near matching anywhere close to the caliber of show that Howard delivers daily and there are more Stern copycats on the air waves today than there is porn on the Internet or roaches in New Dehli and not a single copycat morning show that I have ever heard even compares or comes close.

     Now I'm not saying I agree or even like everything or for that matter even half of what Howard says or does on his show. But whether he's making me laugh, pissing me off, or offending me He is always entertaining. I never find myself wanting to change the station during his show. I always wanna hear whats next. He somehow manages to consistently hold my attention and intrest more than any other show ever has.

     Hell, I can't even hold my own damn attention for a full 5 hours a day but each day Stern does just that and honestly I really couldn't even tell you why. He's not really super talented, He doesn't have the best voice in radio and isn't even really what I would consider a comic genius or even a comedian at all but he does it and he does it consistently and he has for over 30 years.

     Yes, the man is a complete narcissist. He's also an innovator and a champion of free speech, which as a writer/performer is very important to me. The man's a living legend and I would be honored to write just one joke for the him before he shuts down his microphone the final time.

     I'm by no means kissing his ass, don't get me wrong. I just immensely respect what the man has accomplished and believe deeply in what he does and what he does is actually very simple.

     He does what he believes in and does it fearlessly with an unwavering belief in himself . And I honestly believe that at the very core of it he really does it all for himself which may really be his secret.

     What he does is pure and authentic. Maybe that's why it's so hard to replicate. That kind of drive and belief in ones self is very rare in any person, but Stern has it and it shines through.

     Or maybe, I'm just simple like everyone else walking the planet and love a good solid fart joke mixed with lots of naked strippers and plenty of small penis jokes. I sincerely doubt it though because I hate fart jokes, but maybe it is just that simple. Maybe Stern does cater to the lowest common denominator but I don't care because either way I still want to be in that studio and not to just watch I want to participate and get a chance to be a part of something I believe is special. Not great, amazing or even brilliant just special.

     So please go ahead and hire me Howard. Let me be a part of radio history but more than that let me actually be a small part before the end of something I feel will be remembered as a big part of entertainment history whether it's juvenile or not.

     Hell, isn't most entertainment juvenile? Beavis and Butthead anyone.

     Not very much of the great achievements in entertainment can be considered high brow really and even fewer than that are memorable or have any real staying power and Howard has both of those things in abundance.

     He has changed radio forever and his impact will be felt long after he flicks the switch for the last time on his mic. If only in me because the very first thing I ever did in comedy was a song parody for a contest on Howard's show and through that parody I found what truly makes me happy and whether comedy ever makes me successful or not I will always hold Howard in a special place for inspiring that change in my life and helping me find my true love.
     So come on you damn hook nosed Jew hire this fat beaten down bastard so I can feed you a few jokes from the Jackie chair before you sign off and retire to taking photos of Beth, finaly sleeping in and I don't know I guess whatever the hell else you want to do.

     Lord knows I have got to be world's better than Benji friggin' Bronk. That "world class talent" should go real far once your coat-tails are removed from beneath him. Or at least as far as the nearest unemployment line

     Sorry Benji. I love you bro, but your sitting in my chair.

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