I am very
nervous around these people. I even have some hick friends that I've known for
years that I'm still kinda scared of to this day. They're just too
unpredictable and outdoorsy for me.
I mean right now I'm safe but, If it ever came down to hunting or
survival I know I'd be screwed. And the thought of being at the mercy of an
insane person with half of my IQ scares the crap out of me.
Now if your in a library, or any place with books, and or technology
for that matter, hicks aren't very scary at all. In front of a computer, they
are downright docile. But the further away from civilization they get the
scarier they become. And once that first YEEE-HAW escapes I'm ready to piss
myself. Being around rednecks in the wild is like living the beginning of
every scary movie ever. There a chainsaw short of a massacre at all times in
I always get the vibe that even they aren't real sure of their
limitations or that they even know what they're going to do next. And I have NEVER met a hick that didn't have crazy eyes, at least
one missing visible tooth, and beer breath whether they have been drinking or
not. They are just plain scary is pretty much the bottom line.
I love you y'all crazy hicks but if we're gonna hang out there has
to be technology around. I'm pretty sure that's their Kryptonite. So if your
ever being attacked by a hick throw your i-Phone
at him. If that doesn't work try asking him about his Mama and them, I've heard
that buys you a few precious seconds.
Otherwise drop trow, grab your ankles, and squeal like a pig boy
'cuz you know you have a pretty mouth.