Stupidity Epidemic

     Science has let us down yet again by ignoring the biggest disease plaguing humanity today.  It is a disease that an overwhelming majority of the population is afflicted by, and all of society is affected by everyday.  I'm speaking of course about stupidity.  Stupidity is completely out of control, and something must be done to cease this epidemic right away before the stupidity epidemic is allowed to do more damage to our world than it already has.  So, like always, I have decided to fix this problem for the world myself.

Atheism, a sarcastic view of this anti-religion, religion.

     God was with me today and to thank him for his guidance I'd like to re-share an old post from our first blog Laughing at Life about Atheists.  Thanks for being there for me today God and to all who love to laugh enjoy...

Atheism, the religion for geniuses.

 

    

     That's what its supposed to be right? Isn't that what they they say? Do they say that or do they just claim Christians are idiots? Well, I wish I was smart enough to believe in nothing. But I'm just not as smart as them. And you know what...That's perfectly OK with me.

They say us Christians are stupid, delusional, and downright crazy for believing in what they call...'An invisible man that lives in the sky'. Because God knows that believing that all this just happened on its own isn't crazy at all. Nope, That makes perfect sense.

     Let's see here, there was a Big Bang millions of years ago and then millions of events creating life lined up perfectly all on their own and formed everything alive and all you see around you.  And that's not all, at least one planet in all that random but miraculously eventful, chaos just happened to turn out perfectly suited for life. But wait, it gets better, because also on that very planet life just happened to form in hundreds of species on land and water accidentally and all on its own. Then it just evolved from microscopic organisms into all of the species of life that we have on the earth today including us Humans, who evolved from monkeys believe it or not.

Perfect Comb-Over's

     Guys who actually believe baldness can be hidden effectively by simply using a bad ass comb-over to hide their bald spot are not only incredibly delusional but also a free source of amusement to all. Every single comb-over is ridiculous looking but each glorious one is also unique and original. Each one amuses us all every time we see a grown man fighting reality and baldness by using the art of the comb-over to hide a huge bald spot. These desperate delusional man clowns have forced themselves to believe that their comb-over is fooling everyone and thankfully parade their ridiculous selves around for our amusement.

Funny Stereotypes

Watermelon is delicious. I don't care what color you are that sh*t is delicious. You get yourself a good watermelon and damn, that's a hell of a day.

Oh and get this, I'm white, and I like fried chicken. Extra crispy? Forget about it. I love it. I also have a huge wiener...OK, that ones a lie but my point is its all gibberish. Who cares what stupid people say this group or that group likes? They're stupid forget 'em.

Facebook - Poking Phony Friends

I have a Facebook account.

I didn't set it up but I do use it. I never post anything except pictures but I do go on it all the time usually to look at friends pics or play poker. I do this but I have no idea why.

I use this free service daily and couldnt tell you why. Because I simply do not know.

I have even thought, not maliciously, but intently for a week or so about deleting it simply for being useless but in the end I didn't and I couldnt tell you why on that one either.

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 9/28/12

It's very clear that we love us some white trash here at Laughing at Life 2.  They're just endlessly entertaining.  Even if your not white trash though Being White Is Hard.  If you don't think so click that link and find out how wrong you are.  Money's tight so here is a Budget Sex Game for you from us.  Enjoy.  Even though our economy is busted we as a people are still growing in girth.  Click here to find out How Fat Are We Going To Get.  Or check out our latest one Mullets, Bumper Stickers and Fat Chicks in Tight Clothes, about Hicks and just plain old Stupid People.  Plus don't forget these Laughing at Life 2 favorites...Hicks Are Scary, and another favorite, Nascar, The Sport of Trash. 

Women are another thing we love here but, who doesn't?  Women are amazing.  They're beautiful, they drive you wild, and they make you crazy.  They're nuts but, I love 'Em.  Read our latest piece, Girls Love Drama, or the other great jokes from Laughing at Life 2 like, Harpo's Cakes, It Says 'Juicy' on YOUR Butt?, When Will Women Listen, and Fat Cheating Whore.  Plus my favorite, Strong, Hard Wiener - You Gotta Give Her Enough. 

Mullets, Bumper Stickers, and Fat Chicks in Tight Clothes

Why does anyone think a Mullet looks good? Don't get me wrong I appreciate a good mullet but to laugh at and point and post to the web but I'd never have one. Hows that saying about Mullets go? Something like - "Party in the back, loser in the front" right?
And some hicks even give their kids Mullets. Stop that right now! That's child abuse.
Mullets are very tacky. Hilarious or not.

Another pet peeve of mine is badly placed tattoos and piercings on girls. Stop that ladies. Why mess with perfection? Scribbling on the artwork that is the beautiful, naked, female form is like putting a bumper sticker on a Porche.
It doesn't add it takes away.

Stupid People Love To Talk

     Have you ever noticed that the lower someones IQ is the more they have to say?
This phenomenon is fascinating to me. Every moron is full of ideas and opinions and they are very eager to let everyone know just how dense they are. The dumber the person the more opinionated and vocal they are. You have to give stupid people at least this. They're entertaining.

     A game I like to play with the intellectually challenged is to just let them talk and get really deep into a hole all while nodding, smiling, and encouraging them along and then, all the sudden, say something that shoots their entire argument to pieces. They get a look like you punched them square in the nose. Its awesome.

     They get all dazed, start to back peddle and most of the time will even come immediately around to your side. I love it.
     Sometimes stupid people are annoying but face it life would be boring without the stupid...

Laughing News, vol4

Laughing News vol4

Comedy. News. Trust

Today in the headlines..,

New studies have confirmed what women have known for centuries.  Men are stupid.  "The male brain is useless."  Scientist Wendy Miller who led the Harvard study said.  "All of a males decisions are made by their penises and women have always known this and used it to manipulate them into everything they have ever done."  She added.  When asked if she feared that releasing this information would be harmfull to women she replied, "Weren't you listening?  They are morons.  There is no threat to women because wieners can't read."  For more on how stupid men are read these great Laughing at Life pieces - 'Conversation With a Scammer' about how the porn industry exploits male stupidity. And for even more proof you can also read, 'Which ways the right way' a piece about how men need a woman to help them with EVERYTHING!

Fat people are EVERYWHERE.  Look around, you can't miss them.  America has a HUGE obesity problem but we at Laughing News see that as a plus.  Food is good and we have it so go U.S.A!  Plus Laughing at Life wouldn't have so many great fat jokes without all those big belly's around.  Need some examples?  Read Weights are heavy, Busted Button, or even Fat Cops/Girthy Gunslingers and you'll see how much joy all that fat can bring.

Sure it looks hard for this woman to drive but just look at those fun bags!  She may be top heavy but on her back I bet she is a TON of fun.  We at Laughing News and Laughing at Life love boobies.  Need more proof and laughs just read Me on Breasts for proof and smiles.

News on the go..,

- Hulk smash everything, nothing left for Hulk to smash, Hulk sad.

- A turtle crossed the road today only to have forgotten what he went across the road for.

- Local woman upset that steroids have ruined her boyfriends wiener.  "It's super tiny and limp now and just looks ridiculous under all those gross muscles"  she was quoted as saying.

Drive it like you stole it..,

Driving offensive isn't enough anymore if you want to stay safe on the roads and survive your daily commute. You have got to drive aggressive. Or more to the point drive like a total ass.
Seem harsh? Well, it's not. You have got to get in these crazy a-holes faces before they can get in yours. Keep in mind, they are trying to kill you. So I say beat them to the punch and fk 'em if they can't take a joke.
If they ride your tail, slow way down. I hate that fkn move. That's just a very douchey move. They're just like "Hey I wanna pass this guy ahead of me but instead of just using the WIDE open lane next to him to do it I'm gonna get all the way up his ass till he moves over for me."

Conversation with a Scammer,

     The Internet can be a very, very, very fun place.  I know I waste most of my life there.  The Internet is a useful tool and it's filled with absolutely everything you could ever possibly want to see, know and look at.  It's also a really great way to communicate and stay in touch with your friends and family, and even a much more efficient and environmental way to receive your mail.  Plus, on top of all that, it's a great and practically free way to satisfy all your weird and dirty little vices in the privacy of your own home. 
     The Internet is an amazing gift to society.  Great as it is though, it is filled to the brim with predators.  There are ALL types of scary predators crawling around on the old Internet today and I spoke to one just last night. 
     Beings how I'm an adult, 36 year old male, some of you may already have guessed which kind of Internet predator I spoke to last night.  For those who are not as Internet savvy, it was a scammer.  Not the Nigerian lottery kind but the porn site kind.  While similar cons, they are slightly different one just prays on the stupid in general.  The porn site one however specializes in duping stupid guys who are lonely, horny, or just plain drunk out of their credit card numbers by pretending to be a hot, sexy young girl who thinks your just SUPER sexy and wants to offer to show you her world, mountains and valleys and all.  She only wants your credit card number to verify your an adult not to scam you because what she's offering you is totally free.  You know, because your so hot. 
     Whether she emails you or IM's you she will need your info and credit card number but, she will always promise never to actually use any of your info or God forbid charge your credit card but, she always will.  
     Because despite her pink text color she's a scammer, and she probably also has a penis, and she/he is talking to tons of guys all over the world at the same time time and financially raping every stupid one she/he can find that will give him/her their credit card number.
     The following conversation I had just last night while on Yahoo Messenger with an Internet scammer that I am sharing here is meant to be an educational tool to try in vain to help my fellow stupid males all over the world.  While it is hilarious pay attention while your laughing.  Please, don't forget to learn, scammers are very real and men are very stupid so this is important. 

Here is a word for word transcript of my conversation with porn site scammer a_babesss32..,

Too Many Wieners,

Sharing isn't always so good.

It can sometimes go horribly wrong.

Like awhile back I was dating this girl and one day she told me that she wanted us to have a threesome - with two guys.

...Well, FK THAT!

I'm sorry but I have a ONE exposed penis per room limit.

The last thing I wanna see when I'm having sex is a guy at the other end.

I figure that if she needs something to suck on while we're having sex she can just have a Popsicle.

I flat out told her I didn't care that she wanted to get filled out like an application, I wasn't doing it.

My wiener always performs alone.


More great jokes from L@L2,

My hilarious Oprah joke, Harpo's Cakes.., click this and go laugh at Oprah now!

For the funniest fat joke I've ever written click this link for, Busted Button before it's too late!

This link takes you to my tribute piece to my ex wife, Fat Cheating Whore, so click it and read the easiest joke I've ever written. Trust me she's pure evil and 110% whore. Its the truest joke here plus it practically wrote itself.

Which Ways The Right Way?

     I'm indecisive. Especially when the choice is important. I'm never sure what I should do. And the reason is really very simple.

     I don't trust myself at all.

     I really just don't. And I shouldn't. I make absolutely AWFUL decisions. Whatever I decide to do is always wrong.

     My decisions are terrible, each one somehow even worse than the one before it.

     I really should have learned by now to make up my mind, and then just do the exact opposite of what I decide. If I'm always wrong the opposite would have to be right.

     You know, that's actually a really great idea...or is it terrible? Is that what I should do? Or should I do the opposite?

     Dammit, now I've gone and confused myself again.

     Thinking is too hard. I need to get married so someone smart can run my life for me.

Romance Novels?

Why do women like romance novels? Is it because chivalry is dead and they are in love with the fantasy of that lost world or that the women who read these books are just dense and so confused by life they prefer living in an alternate reality? I am pretty sure its the latter.

I guess it's no crazier than a true fantasy novel but my problem with it is I cant make monsters and elves etc. but girls can make the world the way it is in those books. Women have the vagina's. Vagina's are very powerful. If they cut us off chivalry would be back instantly because we're just doing what they told us to do anyway like always. We are essentially their slaves.
Instead of changing anything though they'd rather read trash novels that overuse the words thrust and glistening. I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. I mean in the 30's were trash novels books where women voted, wore slacks and had jobs?
Come on girls, your so much smarter than us so why are you reading that garbage? Wait, I think I've got it, those books are porn for women aren't they? That's got to be it..,

Dog the Bounty Hunter, white trash perfection..,

How can you not love Dog the Bounty Hunter? Its fantastically magical. It used to be my favorite 'white trash in trouble' show was COPS but Dog destroys COPS magic formula by turning it inside out and multiplying the pure joy of watching white trash getting busted because on DOG the white trash are also the hunters. That's right twice the white trash! Dog the Bounty Hunter is truly a very special show.

The Sport Of Trash

All the mind numbing excitement of watching brightly colored cars go around and around over and over for hours on end.

You can almost feel the speed as the announcers describe it. Using dozens of words like 'fast' and 'very fast' and the 4 syllable monster 'Accelereate' to portray the SPEED.

The uncertainty and unpredictability of when you may nod off riding on each and every left hand turn.

You see literally tens of colors and more than 11 words on nearly every car.

Nascar's on TV and it has almost has some of the thrills of an actual sport without all the talent, and excitement threatening to disturb your nap or draw your attention in any way.

With drivers you can cheer through every lap. You've got your Earnhardt's, Waltrips, Three or four Billy Bob's and the cutest little fairy you ever saw decked out in the prettiest rainbow outfit and car on wheels that Pepsi has ever endorsed.

Hicks are scary..,

Hicks scare the shit out of me..,

I am very nervous around these people. I even have some hick friends that I've known for years that I'm still kinda scared of to this day. They're just too unpredictable and outdoorsy for me.

I mean right now I'm safe but, If it ever came down to hunting or survival I know I'd be screwed. And the thought of being at the mercy of an insane person with half of my IQ scares the crap out of me.

Now if your in a library, or any place with books, and or technology for that matter, hicks aren't very scary at all. In front of a computer, they are downright docile. But the further away from civilization they get the scarier they become. And once that first YEEE-HAW escapes I'm ready to piss myself.
Being around rednecks in the wild is like living the beginning of every scary movie ever. There a chainsaw short of a massacre at all times in the wild...