Super Bowl XLVII - The Keys To Victory

   The Super Bowl is coming up soon and that has everyone wondering, what did I have for dinner last night?  Well folks, let me tell you once and for all.  Meatball subs.  OK, every ones curiosity about my dinner satisfied, its time to talk about the biggest game of the year in American Football.
     This year the NFL played all its teams against each other all year and the teams with the best records played against each other on TV till only two teams are left to play to see who's going to get to go to Disney World, and pour Gatorade on their coach this year.  The winner of this one last highly anticipated game will win this years Super Bowl, and get very big gaudy rings for their entire team.   With bling like that on the line, these millionaires should really be playing hard.

George Lucas Sold Star Wars To Disney,

     OK Readers, I'm about to let my inner nerd show a little so brace yourselves...
     Recently George Lucas sold the 'Star Wars' franchise to Disney for over 4 billion dollars and nerds everywhere are so worried that Disney is going to ruin their precious 'Star Wars'.  Let me put all nerds everywhere at ease...Disney paid 4 billion dollars to that no neck jerk.  Do you think it was to waste 4 billion dollars?  Hell no, it was to make 10 billion.
     Disney is a business.  A hugely successful business.  Started by an anti-Semite but, successful none the less.  They are not in the business of losing money, 'John Carter' excluded of course.  Disney is not ever never going to ruin 'Star Wars'.  It will be better.  No one did more harm to 'Star Wars' than Lucas himself.  Think about it.  The prequels ALL sucked monkey *ss.  Lucas has nothing left in the tank.
     Now for more proof that Disney will not ruin 'Star Wars'.  1.  Disney owns Marvel and, did you see 'The Avengers'?  Imagine 'Star Wars' in the hands of Joss Wheadon.  Wheadon is 20x's the writer and director that George Lucas is.  2.  'Star Wars' is a fkn goldmine.  Look how long Lucas rode that sh*t and how much money he made with it.  Imagine real talent behind that franchise.  The sky is the limit.  3.  Name the worst Marvel movie Disney's made and I'll bet you my cat it's ten times better than Episode 1.

Drive it like you stole it..,

Driving offensive isn't enough anymore if you want to stay safe on the roads and survive your daily commute. You have got to drive aggressive. Or more to the point drive like a total ass.
Seem harsh? Well, it's not. You have got to get in these crazy a-holes faces before they can get in yours. Keep in mind, they are trying to kill you. So I say beat them to the punch and fk 'em if they can't take a joke.
If they ride your tail, slow way down. I hate that fkn move. That's just a very douchey move. They're just like "Hey I wanna pass this guy ahead of me but instead of just using the WIDE open lane next to him to do it I'm gonna get all the way up his ass till he moves over for me."

Conversation with a Scammer,

     The Internet can be a very, very, very fun place.  I know I waste most of my life there.  The Internet is a useful tool and it's filled with absolutely everything you could ever possibly want to see, know and look at.  It's also a really great way to communicate and stay in touch with your friends and family, and even a much more efficient and environmental way to receive your mail.  Plus, on top of all that, it's a great and practically free way to satisfy all your weird and dirty little vices in the privacy of your own home. 
     The Internet is an amazing gift to society.  Great as it is though, it is filled to the brim with predators.  There are ALL types of scary predators crawling around on the old Internet today and I spoke to one just last night. 
     Beings how I'm an adult, 36 year old male, some of you may already have guessed which kind of Internet predator I spoke to last night.  For those who are not as Internet savvy, it was a scammer.  Not the Nigerian lottery kind but the porn site kind.  While similar cons, they are slightly different one just prays on the stupid in general.  The porn site one however specializes in duping stupid guys who are lonely, horny, or just plain drunk out of their credit card numbers by pretending to be a hot, sexy young girl who thinks your just SUPER sexy and wants to offer to show you her world, mountains and valleys and all.  She only wants your credit card number to verify your an adult not to scam you because what she's offering you is totally free.  You know, because your so hot. 
     Whether she emails you or IM's you she will need your info and credit card number but, she will always promise never to actually use any of your info or God forbid charge your credit card but, she always will.  
     Because despite her pink text color she's a scammer, and she probably also has a penis, and she/he is talking to tons of guys all over the world at the same time time and financially raping every stupid one she/he can find that will give him/her their credit card number.
     The following conversation I had just last night while on Yahoo Messenger with an Internet scammer that I am sharing here is meant to be an educational tool to try in vain to help my fellow stupid males all over the world.  While it is hilarious pay attention while your laughing.  Please, don't forget to learn, scammers are very real and men are very stupid so this is important. 

Here is a word for word transcript of my conversation with porn site scammer a_babesss32..,

It's On..,

That's it! I'm done.

I've had it! It's fkn on now.


I'm sorry, but I didn't start it, I'm just finishing it. It's been going on for too long and it stops now. Or rather just as soon as I narrow down exactly what it is I'm mad about into something a little more manageable than just everything.

I can't just end everything now can I? Well, not alone anyway. Even if I started off strong pretty soon I'd get tired or hungry and once I stop busting asses to rest and eat I'll either cool back off or more likely get sidetracked. I'm easily distracted. So I'm gonna have to narrow down my list of who's getting it before I explode. Focus it in a little more you know. Focus my rage onto just one annoyance at a time.

So I have some thinking to do but trust me as soon as I finally do pick something from the MANY things I want to end I'm going after it viciously. I'm gonna rain down pain and destruction on whatever it is because I'm sick of just hanging back and getting poked and prodded with sticks all day through the bars of my cage. Someone forgot to lock my cage door and now they are gonna pay.

Just as soon as I figure out who they are.