Obese People Dieting

     Obese people are dangerous when they are on a diet.  They are not to be trusted, ever.  Even the ones who are calm, and seem to be succeeding at their diet can turn on you.  Need proof?  Go up to any obese person on a diet and wave a Twinkie in their face, your liable to pull back a stub.  Of course that goes for all fat people though, Twinkies are endangered now.  Dammit, now I want a Twinkie too, and I wouldn't even know where to start looking for one.
     I mean just look at that delicious goodness up there.  How could nobody buy up Hostess and save the damn Twinkie from extinction?  Where were all of us fatties on that one?  Probably on some stupid diet that was destined to fail.  What other delectable foodstuffs must fall before we just accept, and learn to love our fat?  Our economy depends on us heavies to devour and consume junk food at unhealthy levels to survive.  So Super Size those fries, and maximize your thighs, or McDonald's might have to close next, and then our society would surely crumble.

Men With Breasts

     I'm a man and, I have breasts.  I try to deny it but, I do.  I have ever since I was a little kid.  I try to ignore them but I see 'em, I know they are there, plus my wife actually plays with them.  Can you believe that?  I've begged her not to but, she still does.  Do you have any idea how emasculating it is to have your breasts fondled as a guy? It's very emasculating OK girls. Totally, completely, extremely, redonkulously, emasculating.
     I've always had man-boobies, far back as I can remember, and I've always also tried to ignore them too.  I do.  I really do pretend they're not there.  Whenever I can I totally black them out.  It's a valuable skill to have.  The human mind really is an amazing thing.  You can convince yourself of anything you want but, every once in a while, a mirror, a picture of yourself, or hell, even a damn shadow will remind you that they are there.  The rest of the time us big tittied males actually do convince ourselves they look like muscular pecs instead of the perky, plump 'B' cups that they actually are.

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 11/14/12

 American's love food so, we're fat.  But just How Fat Are We Going To Get?  Click that link to find out or click on Fat Athletes to read our tribute to sports fat folks can excel at.  For more on embarrasing things that can happen when your fat check out Busted Button.  Another great fat people joke to check out here is Fat Cops.

 This guy sure does love Jeff Gordon.  Read our piece on NASCAR, NASCAR; the sport of trash, right here.  Or check out these great pieces Dog the Bounty Hunter; White Trash Perfection, or Hicks Are Scary.

Fat Athletes

     Bowling, Golf, Wrestling or basically any other "sport" that you can be fat and still play at the same level as everyone else if not better than them are my favorite to watch and are also fantastic and inspiring and sadly slowly dying. These fat friendly sports are suffering and need more support than they get from us the sport viewing public. We need to support these important fat sports because think of how beautiful and inspiring it is to our over-abundance of overweight little children that our society not only actually accepts these games that you can play well while fat as true sports but that the husky players that play them are considered real athletes too. That to me as a former fat kid from the husky section was amazing. It gave me attainable goals. I score the fat sports phenomenon as a huge victory for fat people, one that is important and endangered and needing our protection.     It's just really nice to have competitive events in which us fat people can not only do well at but also not be so damn easily counted out in. In most sports the out of shape fat players are automatically seen as the weak ones and our lack of cardio and wealth of slowness are used against us by the strong and in shape players. In fat friendly sports the fat players are not instantly the weakest and worst players. In fat friendly sports the fatty could be really good and quite possibly even whip a little ass. We chubby folks need these sports because we don't have a whole lot of games we can play or heavy athletes we can look up to and admire. Speaking as a former sad little fat kid I would have loved to have had a poster of a kick-ass chubby bowler celebrating after winning a big tournament. Who knows, it might have helped me have more self esteem or maybe even just deal with the whole "husky" pants thing a little better than I did.

How Fat Are We Gonna Get?

We need to finally, as a country, get together and decide just how fat we're gonna get. We're all over the place on this one. Fat, skinny, very fat, plump, dammit, make up your minds.

I just wanna fit in.

There seems to be a majority of fatties so I'm on the right track but you skinny's are jerks you know that? Get on board already .

They're always walking around in clothes that fit like there so special. Meanwhile, I can't raise my arms without exposing my sexy hairy belly and I'm all out of belt to poke holes in to help my zipper hold these jeans together...

It Says 'Juicy' On YOUR Butt?!?

I like bigger girls. I feel I need to start by clarifying that. I have nothing but love for all types of women. I'm a huge fan of the whole female gender. Short to tall and thin to large. I love my girls.
That being said, if your a big girl put some thought into your clothes. This goes for my cougars out there too. know what you can and can't pull off clothing wise. This seems like a givin but most girls struggle with this.

For this blog I'm going after the trend of words on the butt of girls pants/shorts...

Laughing News, vol4

Laughing News vol4

Comedy. News. Trust

Today in the headlines..,

New studies have confirmed what women have known for centuries.  Men are stupid.  "The male brain is useless."  Scientist Wendy Miller who led the Harvard study said.  "All of a males decisions are made by their penises and women have always known this and used it to manipulate them into everything they have ever done."  She added.  When asked if she feared that releasing this information would be harmfull to women she replied, "Weren't you listening?  They are morons.  There is no threat to women because wieners can't read."  For more on how stupid men are read these great Laughing at Life pieces - 'Conversation With a Scammer' about how the porn industry exploits male stupidity. And for even more proof you can also read, 'Which ways the right way' a piece about how men need a woman to help them with EVERYTHING!

Fat people are EVERYWHERE.  Look around, you can't miss them.  America has a HUGE obesity problem but we at Laughing News see that as a plus.  Food is good and we have it so go U.S.A!  Plus Laughing at Life wouldn't have so many great fat jokes without all those big belly's around.  Need some examples?  Read Weights are heavy, Busted Button, or even Fat Cops/Girthy Gunslingers and you'll see how much joy all that fat can bring.

Sure it looks hard for this woman to drive but just look at those fun bags!  She may be top heavy but on her back I bet she is a TON of fun.  We at Laughing News and Laughing at Life love boobies.  Need more proof and laughs just read Me on Breasts for proof and smiles.

News on the go..,

- Hulk smash everything, nothing left for Hulk to smash, Hulk sad.

- A turtle crossed the road today only to have forgotten what he went across the road for.

- Local woman upset that steroids have ruined her boyfriends wiener.  "It's super tiny and limp now and just looks ridiculous under all those gross muscles"  she was quoted as saying.

Weights Are Heavy,

     I just joined a gym and I quickly found out when you sit most of the time working out is hard. Plus its seriously screwing with my smoking. Seriously, the first day I worked out I came out and lit a cigarette on my way to the car and immediately threw up. Ridiculous. What kinda smoker can't hold his smoke in public?


       They say "No pain No Gain." But I say avoiding pain is sane. I believe the whole reason we have pain receptors is to know what NOT to do.


     Also where is the beginners gym with people in it who look like me? I look like a freak in that place walking around sweating just because I'm walking around. Already out of breath and sweating just from glancing at the stair-climber.


    Will I look like these people soon or is it that someone like me joins and these people break your spirit so they can have the place all to themselves?


    I think these gyms give free memberships to the genetically gifted to lure you in and those same people intimidate you into leaving once you've paid. If not these freaks should have to wear before pics on their t-shirts to make us fatties feel better.


    In all seriousness though I really like the gym so far. I go really early is probably why. None of the genetic freaks are there yet to preen around and make me feel like a failure and I'm free to be a weakling without embarrassing myself. Its uncomfortable to be big like me but also weak like a pre-pubescent girl. I'm the kind of strong you get from sitting still and I'm that kind of big too. Its misleading to the eyes to see my 240lb 6ft tall frame straining to curl 20lbs dumbbell's. Especially since everyone knows you just started and this is only rep five set one and your already sweating and grunting like a rookie sailor after lights out.