I'm Back Again

I haven't been here for a little while. I was trying out a different approach because, quite frankly, I wasn't getting the results that I was looking for here. I was getting decent traffic but no interaction. So, I started over with a new site. I got really serious and set out to make the new blog what I had always hoped this one would be.

The more serious that I got about making it successful the less fun I was having writing it. I got my traffic up right away but still hardly any interaction. No one ever comments. Comedy is very hard to do with zero feedback. I know that I find it funny but does anyone else? Hard to say because I can't get anyone to talk or respond no matter what I try. I never even stopped to realize it may be because I have no idea what I'm doing.

I always used to just do this blog for fun. I love to make people laugh, I always have. Stand-up is great for a personality like that and that's why I love it. I never get tired of making people laugh. I started the blogging as a way to work out ideas, share actual bits, or anything else that I feel like doing that I think is funny. Everything about it I loved for a long time. I'd work on this thing for hours and that lasted for years until it started to bother me that I got the amount of views I did but no one ever comments on anything.

I began to drift away from the new site entirely. I let the URL expire and now it just sits there in the void deserted. While I was away from blogging I got really into politics because of this guy Bernie Sanders. I am now all in with trying to use the system to improve our world instead of just bitching about it. It has consumed me you could even say, I may even have to change my comedic style as a result.

Getting into and involved in politics and activism has kept me pretty occupied in my free time for about a year now but I still really miss doing what I once loved to do here. So, if you do know what you are doing, maybe you can help me grow and develop this blog into what I've always hoped it would be. A place dedicated to all things comedy with a community of like minded individuals having fun and joking around. Like a digital comedy club after close if you will. When it's just the comics and the staff hanging out and talking shit.

If you're new here, look around there's years of stuff on here and if you have something to say speak up, I don't bite anyone but my baby.

Video Of The Week 1/23/15

     Unless you are new here you know that on Friday's we share a funny video we found during all the time we wasted of our lives watching videos. Granted, a lot of that was on the toilet and, quite frankly, what else are you supposed to do in the toilet? Newspapers are obsolete, and magazines are so bulky and hard to hide. We all have tiny little computers in our pockets and were not gonna play with them when were the most bored and in need of distraction. Ya, and Rush Limbaugh will stop sending his maid out for oxy and go get it himself too.     Anywho, we watch funny videos and pick our favorite and share it here in a post we creatively named Video Of The Week. This week were sharing a video from Bad Lip Reading who if you don't follow on YouTube, you need too. Very funny channel. This particular video is their latest and conveniently enough topical for a big story in the NFL. I thought it was hilarious and I had to clean MTN Dew off my laptop screen after watching it so be careful. Speaking of, when did Mountain Dew become MTN Dew? It kinda just happened. Anyway click below for the video and I hope you enjoy it, let me know what you thought if you can find the time. Also support Bad Lip Reading too if you like it, I didn't make it, they did. Thanks for stopping by L@L2!

Eddie Griffin Reveals What Sagging Jeans Really Mean

Video Of The Week 5/9/14

Click below to watch this weeks funny video that we chose for you from the guys over at College Humor about why you can't use your cell phone when to are on an airplane...

5 Funniest Pieces Of Men's Room Graffiti

     Men's room stalls have always been a ready canvas just waiting for an idiot with a pen to scribble their misspelled gems of wisdom, jokes, and viscous racism on them.  I for one love to read these hastily scribbled moronic masterpieces and consider myself a connoisseur of the art of restroom stall vandalism.  If your like me and love to read bathroom stall graffiti you will find none better than the ones you can find in truck stop bathrooms.  The following are my personal favorites that I have found on the men's room stalls in my time working at a truck stop.

#5. For a good time call the police?
     This one actually made the list because of the story behind it.  Everyone has seen the standard 'For a good time call 555-5555' graffiti on a bathroom stall.  Most of the time in regular bathrooms that number is actually just a jaded losers ex-girlfriends phone number.  At truck stops though prostitution is an actual problem and this graffiti was actually placed as a sting by the local police.  So, when Joe Truckdriver dialed up to arrange his 'good time' he was actually making a date to spend the night in jail for soliciting prostitution.

#4. Help, I can't see my willy when I look down!
     This one struck a personal chord with me because not only is it funny but, as a fat guy myself, it also hit me close to home.

#3. Only white people pee on the floor.
     This one is great because it works on so many levels. It can be everything from a nonsensical comment to a derogatory racial statement.  It all depends on how insecure the person reading it is.  Is the artist trying to say that white guys have no manners?  Or is it a statement that white boys have worse aim because their wieners are further from the bowl?    

Are you Laughing at Life, 2?

     Life can be very hard, painful, and extremely stressful as well.  Luckily, it can also be hilarious and it often is too, if you know where and how to look at it.  That is what is so healing and necessary about the art of comedy.  That is also why I love doing it so much.  I love making people laugh.  It's like a drug to me and it is to most of the other comics that I know as well.  
     We comics are mostly all just a bunch of sad clowns who see the world through a skewed view that allows us to translate it into humor.  We need our audience as much or more than they need us.  The relationship between the comedian and the audience is a very intimate one even if it doesn't fully show on the surface.  The audience benefits from the release of the laughter and the comic benefits from the audience's laughter itself.
     Making people laugh is like our own version of cheap therapy, and it's our anti-depressant drug too.  It is for me at least.  Making people laugh and feeling that acceptance and praise is why I do it.  It's what drives me to write and perform.  I love to entertain people and hear them laugh.  I need it, it's my drug, and I've been addicted to it ever since I first stepped onto a stage and felt it.

Laughing News, vol6

Laughing News vol6

Free. Comedy. News. You Can Trust.

Today in the headlines..,



Too bad, no one else does...

But, I'd rather be uncool than stupid. Click here to laugh at 'Stupid People Love To Talk'.  A big part of my hairstyle choice is my receding hairline. I accept it but click here to laugh at 'Perfect Comb-Overs', our joke about these delusional dudes.  Grown Men with pictures of ripped, half naked men on their T-Shirts is kinda a little gay. Click here to read 'Wrestling's Gay' to laugh at the complete theory now!  I posted this piece and actually had a Google+ argument with someone. Amazing...Come laugh at the Atheist religion.



     Stupidity is an epidemic in the world today.  It affects most of the worlds population and annoys the rest of it.  If left unchecked the entire Earth's population could be stupid or fed up by 2014 Say's Harvard scientist Ray Smith.  He added, 'The stupid breed like rabbits and seem to be unstoppable.  I'm afraid we are all doomed.'  He started to cry and then said, 'My wife is dumb as a wet, busted brick. And my new baby really concerns me.  He just stares at his Cheerios blankly and smiles for hours.'.   I hugged Dr. Smith for twenty minutes while he cried and repeated he had a loaded gun in his desk for a full half hour before press time.


Tell me that sh*t ain't creepy!

     This doll is hella creepy.  I found it and can't get it out of my head so, welcome to my nightmares...

George Carlin, A Tribute

"I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic hatreds" -- George Carlin 5/12/1937 - 6/22/2008

     George Carlin was, simply put, a master comedian, and prolific writer.  When it came to delivering raw, in your face, relevant, and hilarious stand-up routines, George Carlin never let you down.  And, like with all the greats, you know right away when you see a great comedian.  And, anyone could clearly see that George Carlin was a true master.  I knew immediately that Carlin was among the greats as soon as I first saw him perform when I was a child.  His performance was just so special, and recognizably honest, and sincere that you felt as though he was speaking directly to you. 
     George possessed the type of stage presence, courage, and perfect timing that made you feel as though you knew him and, not only that but, he thought just like you, only a lot more bitter and angry.  His comedy was always thought provoking, and relevant as well as hilariously crafted, and well delivered.  Carlin owned the stage and your attention.  He demanded it, and he was a clear, and undeniable master of the art of Stand-Up comedy.  A prolific, and masterful storyteller, hilarious and relate able performer, and downright brilliant humorist, George Carlin and his unique brand of comedy truly was a gift to society.

Last to the Party episode 8

Last to the Party,

episode 8

“Welcome to ‘Last to the Party', where I share the funny videos I’m just finding out about with all of you out there  who are as un-cool as I am… If you’re not as un-cool as me and you’re seeing this just be cool about it.  Laugh politely for whoever is showing you this OK.  You don’t have to be a d*ck”

                 Today I’m going to share a recent clip from the Comedy Central, Jeff Ross roast show, ‘The Burn’, with you guys here.  In this clip Jeff heads to Westboro Baptist Church to give those hate mongers a burn they won't soon forget.  Enjoy laughing at these stupid hateful fools and look up the link from the video to petition The White House to label Westboro Baptist a hate group. 

Tiger Woods Is Only A Man

News Flash Society -Tiger Woods is not the only man that loves sex and women. It comes standard with most penises. Any straight man given Tigers options could fall prey to our genitals just like he did. Our penis owns us ladies. I'm sorry but its a fact. We are nothing but it's slave.

Why else do you think we are also yours?

Joe MotherF'ng Pesci Y'all

He is awesome. Joe Pesci is great as a pshcho bad ass mobster and also funny as hell as an inner city landlord.

This little italian bastard is one talented fkn actor. Goodfellas, I mean come on.

My cousin Vinny, hell, even those snickers commercials whatever he's in I love to watch this little compact Italian-American actor born February 9, 1943, in Newark, NJ, talk. Just say anything in that funny ass New Jersey accent.

Is his voice not amazing? Pesci makes everything sound spectacular.

"No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the f*ck am I funny, what the f*ck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!" - from Goodfellas, remember that little crazy fker saying that in that movie? Classic.

What about from Casino, "I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fkin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fkin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fkin' stupid. I don't give a f*ck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do."

Even this classic line delivered by Pesci in Lethal Weapon 4, 'They f*ck ya, they f*ck ya, they f*ck ya."

I love Joe Pesci. He's one of my favorite Movie Stars of all time. I can watch anything Pesci's in. I loved the Snickers comercial stuff honestly too. He's a talented little guy, Joe Pesci..,

Probably my 7th favorite actor ever maybe even high as 5th. He's great. Enjoy this clip from Goodfella's to celebrate Joe.....,

Beer Goggles,

Drink.

Drink till your interesting and she’s pretty…

Matter of fact you better go ahead and get
another case man because that’s a lofty goal.

For one, you’re boring as hell and two, that

"chick" you’re flirting with has an Adams apple.

      Nothing against beer but it definitely doesn’t make you any smarter. In fact the more you tip back the worse your decisions get. Pretty soon that Adams apple is explained away into a swollen extra front lymph node. Three more beers later and that penis in her panties just an extroverted vagina and two beers later you’re getting ‘Deliverance’ style gay with the hottest damn guy at the party...

Howard Stern, King of ALL Media. My future boss and also yet another hero of mine,

     I'm a Howard Stern fan. I have been even before ever hearing his actual radio show, I became a fan after seeing his movie "Private Parts" ever since then I was a fan. Soon after seeing his movie the Stern show finally made it's way to St. Louis's radio waves and from the moment I first heard it I was immediately hooked.

      I listened religiously, every day, and to the entire show from tortured man to Fred's plugs at the end. Up until that point I had NEVER paid any real attention at all to any radio personality before Howard nor have I any since. I doubt I could have even named another DJ on the air other than Casey Casum and even Casey with his golden pipes couldn't hold my attention through even a single long distance dedication to a three legged puppy in Wisconsin or whatever it was he did besides bringing voice to my man, and stoner legend, Shaggy. Scooby Doo's owner, best friend, and loyal smoke 'n toke partner.

     Howard Stern is talented. That is just a fact. Anyone who denies that is either jealous or just a moron because its undeniable. He has developed and mastered a simple formula for compelling interesting and entertaining talk radio as well as writing two best selling novels and carrying his own biopic starring as himself.

     Well his formula is seemingly simple but I know I have never heard anyone come anywhere near matching anywhere close to the caliber of show that Howard delivers daily and there are more Stern copycats on the air waves today than there is porn on the Internet or roaches in New Dehli and not a single copycat morning show that I have ever heard even compares or comes close.

     Now I'm not saying I agree or even like everything or for that matter even half of what Howard says or does on his show. But whether he's making me laugh, pissing me off, or offending me He is always entertaining. I never find myself wanting to change the station during his show. I always wanna hear whats next. He somehow manages to consistently hold my attention and intrest more than any other show ever has.

     Hell, I can't even hold my own damn attention for a full 5 hours a day but each day Stern does just that and honestly I really couldn't even tell you why. He's not really super talented, He doesn't have the best voice in radio and isn't even really what I would consider a comic genius or even a comedian at all but he does it and he does it consistently and he has for over 30 years.

     Yes, the man is a complete narcissist. He's also an innovator and a champion of free speech, which as a writer/performer is very important to me. The man's a living legend and I would be honored to write just one joke for the him before he shuts down his microphone the final time.

     I'm by no means kissing his ass, don't get me wrong. I just immensely respect what the man has accomplished and believe deeply in what he does and what he does is actually very simple.

Found or Overheard Jokes, vol2

Found or Overheard Jokes, vol2

Random funny jokes that I was told or overheard recently..,

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

‘Isnt that joke just adorable?’

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I was tight."

‘Not only was that one cute, it was relatable...’

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here you go, iron this!".

‘Tell me sexism isn't funny...sure it is.'

Thanks for stopping by, come back soon and check out the new. ‘Laughing At’ coming the 25^th.

Bill Hicks - Comedy Legend, Comic Genius

     I consider Bill Hicks to be the greatest stand up comedian of all time.

     I have been a student of stand up for a very long time and have studied all of the greats but when I first saw Hicks' special 'Sane Man' I knew I had found the master. As I watched that special I knew I was watching something magical. Never before had I seen stand up comedy performed so perfectly. Bill Hicks was an amazing writer and comedic performer and it is a real shame he was taken from us so early but I will always hold on to and cherish his work. As a comedian he is my hero.

     William Melvin Hicks was born December 16th, 1961 in Valdosta, Georgia, the youngest of three children. He began preforming comedy at a young age with his childhood friend Dwight Slade sending comedy packages to agents which even earned them a spot on the Jerry Lewis telethon but they couldn't perform on the show however because they were underage. Bill continued to pursue his love of comedy and once he graduated high school he moved to LA and began working at The Comedy Store alongside Gary Shandling, Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno.

     Hicks went on to have a successful career as a stand up comic. Preforming 250-300 times a year all over the country. During his career he appeared 12 times on the Letterman show and released multiple comedy albums, and stand up comedy specials for HBO. Bill Hicks was very near breaking into superstar status here in the states, a level of fame which he had already achieved over seas, but unfortunately he died of cancer before achieving that success here in his home country.

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 7/19/12

Best afro ever? I think so.

Maybe a white guy shouldn't talk about afro's but come on...whats more bad ass than a thick fro with one of those black fist picks stuck in it. Plus, Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction? Nuff said. But click this link anyway to read my afro joke, Bitching Fro Bro, if not for me than just because it's funny. Click this link right here now!

How can a word be dirty?

My favorite word, which if your a regular here you already know, is the "F" word. It's an awesome word and OMG, is it versatile. So you know what I say fk it, if you like laughing come read this joke. Or fk it, don't but, it's your loss. All kidding aside click this link now to read, 'Dropping the "F" Bomb'.

Laughing News, vol3

Laughing News vol3

Comedy. News. To Trust. With Laughs

Today in the headlines..,

A local man went crazy from a flu injection at Walgreen's today in Louisville.  Police say the man has been released back into the care of his mother but has also went totally balls out nuts.  "He grabbed the really fat nurses butt with both hands and asked her to clean his kitchen" Officer Frank Brown told LN reporters.  "He totally did, with both hands." agreed Walgreen's nurse Bree Holden 23 of ridge park. "His eyes were crazy as shit the whole time too." she added.

Sunday a lot of players and coaches were upset by many on field calls by referee's in sports like in this picture because a lot of refs suck real bad says a new observation by college freshman Lyle Bendass.  "I noticed a bunch of times refs seemed not only stupid but blind too."  Bendass added.  LN studies showed similar results in every sport from the pro levels down to little league.  For more sports news click here to read Laughing At, Sports... 

Oprah is very upset all because Rosie loves Shawn's classic Oprah joke from his comedy blog Laughing at Life 2.  O'Donnell claims that she apologised to Oprah and even told the Queen of television she wished the joke wasn't so damn funny but it just really is.  "I told Oprah it was just clever and only a joke.  I didn't think she was really fat. It was just funny.., Shawn's funny"  Rosie then signed frustrated and added, "Look, it's cute, fire me."  Oprah did.  Click here to read the joke that got Rosie fired...

The biggest criminal and traitor in the free world still roams free and 9/11 remains a cover-up to this day despite logic or good reason of any kind.  No one of power or authority seems concerned as of yet of this phenomenon though so fingers crossed on justice folks.., "It's gotta be coming right Mr. Reporter?" A young child asked our reporter on camera.  He only frowned and said he didn't know, and neither do we.

News on the go..,

- - Studies show Grateful Dead isn't as amazing without a ton a pot.

- - My wife and I cannot ever agree on what temperature our house should be so in other words I'm too hot!  More married quotes here...

- - This just in, Dee's Nuts.  Sex is harder for guys to learn more...

- - Some women need more wiener, read;  Strong, Hard, Wiener for more...

- - Stupidity is rampant in our society today and no one is safe. The decline of society is imminent.  However, in other news, reality TV has never been better or juicier.  

Conversation with a Scammer,

     The Internet can be a very, very, very fun place.  I know I waste most of my life there.  The Internet is a useful tool and it's filled with absolutely everything you could ever possibly want to see, know and look at.  It's also a really great way to communicate and stay in touch with your friends and family, and even a much more efficient and environmental way to receive your mail.  Plus, on top of all that, it's a great and practically free way to satisfy all your weird and dirty little vices in the privacy of your own home. 
     The Internet is an amazing gift to society.  Great as it is though, it is filled to the brim with predators.  There are ALL types of scary predators crawling around on the old Internet today and I spoke to one just last night. 
     Beings how I'm an adult, 36 year old male, some of you may already have guessed which kind of Internet predator I spoke to last night.  For those who are not as Internet savvy, it was a scammer.  Not the Nigerian lottery kind but the porn site kind.  While similar cons, they are slightly different one just prays on the stupid in general.  The porn site one however specializes in duping stupid guys who are lonely, horny, or just plain drunk out of their credit card numbers by pretending to be a hot, sexy young girl who thinks your just SUPER sexy and wants to offer to show you her world, mountains and valleys and all.  She only wants your credit card number to verify your an adult not to scam you because what she's offering you is totally free.  You know, because your so hot. 
     Whether she emails you or IM's you she will need your info and credit card number but, she will always promise never to actually use any of your info or God forbid charge your credit card but, she always will.  
     Because despite her pink text color she's a scammer, and she probably also has a penis, and she/he is talking to tons of guys all over the world at the same time time and financially raping every stupid one she/he can find that will give him/her their credit card number.
     The following conversation I had just last night while on Yahoo Messenger with an Internet scammer that I am sharing here is meant to be an educational tool to try in vain to help my fellow stupid males all over the world.  While it is hilarious pay attention while your laughing.  Please, don't forget to learn, scammers are very real and men are very stupid so this is important. 

Here is a word for word transcript of my conversation with porn site scammer a_babesss32..,

Too Many Wieners,

Sharing isn't always so good.

It can sometimes go horribly wrong.

Like awhile back I was dating this girl and one day she told me that she wanted us to have a threesome - with two guys.

...Well, FK THAT!

I'm sorry but I have a ONE exposed penis per room limit.

The last thing I wanna see when I'm having sex is a guy at the other end.

I figure that if she needs something to suck on while we're having sex she can just have a Popsicle.

I flat out told her I didn't care that she wanted to get filled out like an application, I wasn't doing it.

My wiener always performs alone.


More great jokes from L@L2,

My hilarious Oprah joke, Harpo's Cakes.., click this and go laugh at Oprah now!

For the funniest fat joke I've ever written click this link for, Busted Button before it's too late!

This link takes you to my tribute piece to my ex wife, Fat Cheating Whore, so click it and read the easiest joke I've ever written. Trust me she's pure evil and 110% whore. Its the truest joke here plus it practically wrote itself.

Which Ways The Right Way?

     I'm indecisive. Especially when the choice is important. I'm never sure what I should do. And the reason is really very simple.

     I don't trust myself at all.

     I really just don't. And I shouldn't. I make absolutely AWFUL decisions. Whatever I decide to do is always wrong.

     My decisions are terrible, each one somehow even worse than the one before it.

     I really should have learned by now to make up my mind, and then just do the exact opposite of what I decide. If I'm always wrong the opposite would have to be right.

     You know, that's actually a really great idea...or is it terrible? Is that what I should do? Or should I do the opposite?

     Dammit, now I've gone and confused myself again.

     Thinking is too hard. I need to get married so someone smart can run my life for me.