7 Things People Love But Won't Admit They Like

     People are weird, we really are. Every single one of us is a freak in one way or another. Some in many ways. Some in two. Point is we all like weird and odd things and pretend that we don't and everyone knows. Kind of strange that we don't just cut the bullshit and just be real with each other. Till then here's 7 things I noticed about things people are ashamed to like.

Kinky Sex

     You know what's even better than sex? Kinky, nasty, dirty sex that's what, and people the world over know this little fact but despite its immense fan base not that many folks actually admit to being into it. We just haven't come far enough as a species to talk about our various kinks openly I guess. I say that realizing that the previous statement only holds true in the majority of the world but for the sake of time and laziness I'm judging us all as a group. We're just too hung up and worried what others may think of us once they know about they messed up sexual fantasies we act out in our minds as well as in our bedrooms. In certain regards it makes sense for us to be this way because the thing that makes something kinky is that others think its odd. Otherwise it's just normal and that's a bitch for another day.

- Bad Music

     Shitty songs can be an invasive offense to your ears, but they can also be catchy as hell. I cannot count the amount of times I will have some crappy bubblegum pop song stuck on repeat in my head for hours even though I honestly couldn't even tell you how it got there if my life depended on it. There was a recent university study done using teenage children they found watching the children's brainwaves as crappy Pop music was played and they could predict hit songs with 100% accuracy just by watching the pleasure centers of the brain they knew the test subject liked it whether they said they did or not. Turns out that simple, catchy, and easy to sing along with songs please our minds in a way science doesn't even yet fully understand. Now you don't have to be ashamed of liking that crappy song because you can just blame science.

- Crappy TV and Movies

     Do you ever wonder why terrible movies and unwatchable TV shows keep getting made? It's not because people don't like to watch 'em it's because people fucking love to watch them. They keep getting made and will keep getting made because they get the biggest ratings. Americans love to watch other people doing things because we certainly aren't going to do anything so someone should. We live through our "T.V. Friends" like the Kardashians so that their experiences and accomplishments become "our' experiences and accomplishments because we were right there watching them through it all.

     If we want to stop bad television we would have to stop watching bad television and since we are not going to do that we should just strap in.

Laughing News, Breaking Update, 9/13/12

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We know here at Laughing News how busy you are and how hard it is to keep up with all the great jokes and wisdom shared here at Laughing at Life 2 so we want to help you.  A lot of funny stuff has happened here you need to check out.  First lets talk about the newest 'Last to the Party'. The Siri Argument video is hilarious and you should click this link now and go watch it.  Another recent comedy goldmine here is Laughing News vol4 with great hilarious news for you so click here for that.  We have also done many great tribute pieces and articles like, Joe Motherfing Pesci Y'all, NEWS FLASH - Tiger Woods is just a man, plus great pieces on Howard Stern and my hero in comedy Bill Hicks.

Women don't need us.  That's really scary cuz we do need them. 

Laughing at Life 2 loves women and we show it with great jokes dedicated to the girls.  Our tribute piece to females, Let the panties hit the floor shows this love.  We also try to educate our readers with our informative piece, Strong, Hard Wiener - You gotta give her enough.  We even emphasize the dangers in our piece on Female Orgasm Equipment which is important because guys, we are replaceable.  And, let us not forget, our beautiful piece against breast cancer Me, On Breasts.

Beat It,

I liked Micheal Jackson's music.

It was hard not to. I mean come on, 'Thriller'?!  The man wrote some really catchy songs.

He was very talented of that I don't think there is any doubt. But I'm afraid that catchy songwriter is where my admiration for that "man" stops.

Calling him weird just doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. Weird couldn't contain Micheal.

But, I gotta say one thing for him and that is he at least had one shining moment of clarity and wisdom. I think he was really onto something with that 'Beat It' song.

His soul was trying to teach us all something with that song that I don't think Micheal even fully understood because from the music video it seemed like he thought that song was about fighting.

Well, my theory is that it was about a form of fighting but not gang fighting in glitter jackets like in the video but more of a private solo battle. A single player game where you always win. More of a one man sword fight if you will. One on one all the way to the hoop.
He may very well have been the song in which Mike finally realized he didn't want anything at all to do with girls outside of maybe looking like one. I think he knew about the demon that lives inside every girl that waits to devour men's souls.

Mike tried to tell us all how to get by without women but it was just a lesson real men would never learn because Micheal was special he simply said NO to the vagina. And he held to it. And that is just Something I could never ever do.
He may have been right to dodge the vaginal trap and just "Beat It" and good for him. I could give up a lot of things if I had to but vagina has a pretty firm hold one me I just wouldn't want to live without it. There's a reason that trap is so effective. It uses only premium bait.

But none of that for Mike he just wanted to Beat It. And Beat It he did. He Beat It a little to well. He Beat the damn nose right off his face and all the black off his lily white ass in the process.
And in the end I think beating it tied directly into him doing all that fk'd up stuff to himself. He didn't have that woman there to tell him NO.

We wiener slinger's need that female there to think for us. Just look what happens without it. Micheal just had way too much freedom and free time for a rich crazy bastard. There was no one there to stop him so he just Beat It

Sex is harder for guys,

There is a ton of porn on the Internet and I am so thankful for that.
If that sentence offended you turn back now it only gets worse...OK then,
Porn is to me what Linus's blanket was to him. I hardly ever look at it anymore really but I feel safer just knowing its there.
Plus I can't tell you how many times it has helped me release the poison so I could think clearly again. Because being a chubby white guy with a face for radio my quest for tail hasn't always been an easy one.
I imagine its much easier for girls. But isn't everything? I would think even a butt fugly girl can decide she's getting laid and make it happen with enough booze. I know I've been with a few "vampires" myself. For guys its not that easy. I know I could never call it. Most times I have sex its a total surprise for me. I never see it coming..,


Sex is hard for guys. We have to do much more to get it and I know I've done things I would never do just for the chance that it would get me laid. There wasn't much I wouldn't do and I also had to avoid places just because it might stop me from getting any. Like amusement parks and fairs because I'm terrified of heights. I'm not gonna ride some death trap built by the high school dropout that turned in the lowest bid just to have a shot at some action. In those cases I turn to my porn. In my life I have often depended on masturbation. Making sweet love to good Ol' Rosie Palmer, my faithful lady.
Sex is even a lot less awkward for girls. Girls have nothing to hide, but if your an under-endowed guy, that moment when you first show your junk to a girl is very scary for us Lil guys..,

Female Orgasm Equipment

Women have all the best tools for masturbation. Guy's don't get anything, all we have to spice up making love to our hands is Vaseline.

But thankfully Vaseline is good enough to carry three different sizes which I appreciate. I'm on a budget.

But girl's have it all.

They have crotch rockets, vibrating panties, and they even have custom made vibrators like the one my Ex-Wife had.

She went out and got herself a 250 horsepower hot pink jackhammer.

It was 22 inches long with a two handle grip.

She had to mount it like a Harley.

And trust me, I knew that beast could replace me at any moment.

This power tool delivered an orgasm in 30 seconds...

I can't even last 5.

If I lasted 30 seconds I'd feel like Rocky Balboa.

I'd be running around the bed, my arms up in the air screaming "YO ADRIAN, I DID IT!"

All while she's just laying there all bored...hasn't even taken her panties off yet.

She'd ask me if I'm ready and I'd be like am I ready? Baby, I'm done.

Then, like always, out comes that big ass vibrator.

And every time she pulled that monster out and kick-started it I would get so mad I felt like screaming.

And I would've if I thought she could hear me over the engine...

Let the panties hit the floor..,

Ever since the time that I hit puberty I have had only one main goal in life. And that goal is very simple. From the first time my weiner stood up on it's own all I have wanted in this life is to get laid.

From that point on my main goal and primary mission on this Earth was to get as many girl's out of their panties and into bed with me as I could as often as was humanly possible.
I have always loved women.

They really are literally all I ever think about and it's been that way as far back as I can remember. I was fascinated with the beauty of women way before I ever even knew there was anything else to them besides being adorable and having the strange ability to make butterflies churn in my stomach by simply looking at me and somehow make me feel intoxicated with nothing but a silly little sideways smile.

You see it all started out very innocent.