Greed and Medicine

     I see a lot of crying on social media and also on the garbage television that we now call news about health care reform. I think everyone knows what I'm talking about, but if you've been lucky enough to have missed out on all of the deceiving rhetoric and downright treasonous things that our generations 'journalists', and regular American citizens are saying about our President and his health care reform plan.  For the sake of progress, and because this post is meant to mostly be about the greed that swarms in the health care industry more than President Obama's health care program, I am going to skip all the ridiculous and quite frankly downright infantile things people are saying about it and just stick to the main actual complaints about Obamacare. 

     People like to claim that President Obama's program steals money from hardworking taxpayers pockets, that it is unfair, invasive, and quite frankly just isn't working. I will briefly take these complaints on one at a time starting with the myth that Obamacare attacks average taxpayers. It is amazing to me that people even believe this myth. The health care reform act was meant to help the common people, not hurt them. To give the average American access to care even if they cannot afford it. It's purpose was to eliminate the greed that had perverted our countries health care system to the point that it restricts care to only those who can afford it. If the health care reform act took money from anyone it would have been the rich, and greedy gatekeepers of medical care in this country. Insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, and hospitals would have been affected and they should be. Our current system is fundamentally flawed and needs to be reformed. It's disgusting that money dictates the care you will receive or that elderly people are forced to give the majority of their income for the care and medicine that they need to survive.

     Now lets tackle the 'It's not working' angle. This one is easy to see once you open your eyes but no one seems to want to do that. The only problems with Obamacare were placed on it by those opposing it in an effort to make it fail. It didn't fail despite their efforts and now those same people who tried to hinder the progress of the health care reform act site the same garbage they tacked on it to support their flimsy arguments over why things should just stay the way they are. The senators and congressmen who protect the wealthy are stopping you and your family from getting the care you deserve and at the same time brainwashing you into believing that it is to protect your money. That is a bold faced lie. It is to protect the filthy rich, not the average American taxpayer. Stop defending the wealthy and open your eyes. Health care needs to be available as a right and the disgusting greed that keeps it from us needs to be eradicated. This is our country and we are letting them take it. Hell, we are giving it to them. It needs to stop. You are being lied to, wake up!

I Want To Get In A Fight

Find and click Bill Clinton for a free funny video

     I really want to get into a fight. It has been a very long time since I have been in an old fashioned fist fight. It's been since High School probably. I can't even really remember exactly how long ago it was that I got to punch someone square in the face when they deserved it like I wanted too, or just wail on some assholes ears with a barrage of punches until he learned the lessons that he desperately needed to learn to avoid future ass whoopings from me.
     That doesn't happen anymore. People still disagree. It's just when it used to come to blows, now people want to call the cops. I don't like that and it sucks for two reasons. One, I don't really like cops, they make me uncomfortable even when I'm doing nothing wrong. Two, cops never let you fight, and will actually lock you in a cage for doing it. Crazy right? It really is, but its true though I've seen it happen.
     It's ridiculous, this pussification of the males in our society. Look, there is a line that you just do not cross when arguing with a man and every man knows it and when its crossed the natural response is to battle. Everything in your body and soul is telling you to fight. And time was, you could have. You could have fought, brutally even if you wanted, someone would inevitably win and it would be over with. But no, everyone is a sissy so now you have to fight every natural urge in your body because society has decided we can't fight.
     Well, I think society is wrong. I think keeping all that rage pent up causes bigger problems down the road, and I believe that fighting is healthy and natural. I think fighting, while unfortunate is necessary, and without it we don't function properly as a unit. There wouldn't be so many assholes running around ruining everyones day if they knew people could punch them in the nose if they got out of line and needed it. We need that back America. We're fighters by nature. Freedom of speech should go both ways and include a throw your hands clause when things fall through the system.

Homophobia Is Gay

Does this pic look a little gay to you..?

     What is more queer than being uncomfortable around gay people? I'm asking literally not figuratively. I think that being homophobic is more gay than actually being gay is.  To quote a favorite comic of mine, Patton Oswalt, being homophobic is, 'gayer than 8 guys doing 9 guys'. 
     Sorry to be so blunt but, to me, it really is. I mean for one, why would you even care who other people are having sex with? You don't have to be there, or watch them, and your not even involved at all, so wtf would even bother you about it? It simply would have to be that just the knowledge of who they choose to have sex with has made you imagine yourself in a same sex situation, and that thought of you with a same sex partner has made you uncomfortable. Because otherwise why would you care?  There is a simple answer to that question.., you wouldn't.

Bored Now

     I'm bored.  How in the hell is it that I am bored?  I have three web pages loaded up right now, I'm listening to music, playing on my phone, and writing this throw away post to my comedy blog...
     Do I have A.D.D?  That, I do not know.  I am not a doctor.  What I do know is, I'm very fkn bored.  So bored in fact that I'm even boring my readers with the fact that I'm bored so that they can share in the experience of my boredom with me.
     So, I may or may not have A.D.D. but, I'm probably, definitely a narcissist because, why in the hell would I think that anyone would care at all about me being bored.  I mean, just how fkn arrogant is that?  
     Plus, as arrogant as this post about my boredom already is, I even just tweeted that I was bored, and posted it to Facebook.  Hell, I might as well yell it right out my front door now as well.  I mean, why in the hell not.  
     If I actually think that everyone online wants to know if I'm bored, why should I then leave out my own damn neighbors?  Because, they are huge gaping A-Holes, that's why.  So, fk them, I'll just go over and whisper it to their dog, I like him.

Windows 8 Hate

     Why do they ALWAYS have to ruin EVERYTHING? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Why does every company think they need to make everything work like a smart phone or tablet?  If I wanted to use apps, I'd just use my damn tablet or phone Microsoft.  I bought a new laptop for use as a computer.  What I got though, was a damn folding smart phone... WTF?!?

Waiting For The Dr...

Now see, this nurse, I'd wait on...

     I love how if your late for or God forbid miss your doctors apt they freak the fk out and even charge you but, when they make you wait forever for your scheduled apt its just considered normal practice?  That's fkd up.  No other business operates that way. McDonald's would go out of business in a second if they just brought you your food when it was convenient for them to.  But Doctors think they are hot sh*t cuz they have an expensive, fancy 'diploma'.  They ain't special you know... Plus there are literally hundreds of thousands of them walking around.  You cant swing a cat on a plane without hitting 3 lawyers and a doctor.
     My Grandma was a better Doctor than any 'real' Doctor I've ever met and she was free and made you dinner.  All she ever even asked for was a foot rub now and then.  Which was gross but, she always paid you at least a quarter plus, she was an awesome cook.  I'd rub my Doctors feet if he'd make me some fried chicken after.  Sh*t, for what he's charging, I should get at least a kiss or maybe, a reach around.

Shadow On - Reddit

This ain't Shadow but, he looks gangsta too!

     Hi, as you know, I'm White Shadow, the not yet famous but, incredibly talented, and gifted, white gangster rapper.  I'm as white as fresh fallin' snow but, I rap very, very swell.  As the greatest, and hardest gangster rapper in the world, ever,  I like to keep up on what is goin' down in these virtual streets.  You know, gain up my knowledge on the streets of the net.  Then I like to spread that knowledge to you, my adoring, wonderful fans...
     Today on 'Shadow On', I'm going to be tellin y'all what I think about a little Internet site called Reddit.  Now, what I think about Reddit is pretty simple really, I think Reddit totally sucks.
     For those of you that do not know what Reddit is, it's garbage.  It wasn't always but, it is now.  Total and complete Internet trash.  It was started by a pioneer and genius as an information sharing site for EVERYONE to use, playa's, pimps, and nerds alike, but now it's just a haven for haters.  It's also ran by a bunch of haters too, and the Mod's are, well what we call them in the streets is punk ass biatches, not to be blunt round the white folks and lady folk's who are readin' this.  They really are.  There isn't a nicer word to use to describe them, trust me, I tried.

Don't Hit Girls

     OK readers, brace yourselves... It's about to get real for a second.
     Every guy who hits a woman, for any reason, is a complete and total wimp.  Just putting it out there because it's a completely true fact.  If you hit girls and disagree come see me and I'll knock you on your ass just to show you what a b*tch *ss p*ssy you really truly are.  That offer is wide open to any man who hits women.  Any man at all.  I'm not scared at all of ANY coward that hits on Women.

George Lucas Sold Star Wars To Disney,

     OK Readers, I'm about to let my inner nerd show a little so brace yourselves...
     Recently George Lucas sold the 'Star Wars' franchise to Disney for over 4 billion dollars and nerds everywhere are so worried that Disney is going to ruin their precious 'Star Wars'.  Let me put all nerds everywhere at ease...Disney paid 4 billion dollars to that no neck jerk.  Do you think it was to waste 4 billion dollars?  Hell no, it was to make 10 billion.
     Disney is a business.  A hugely successful business.  Started by an anti-Semite but, successful none the less.  They are not in the business of losing money, 'John Carter' excluded of course.  Disney is not ever never going to ruin 'Star Wars'.  It will be better.  No one did more harm to 'Star Wars' than Lucas himself.  Think about it.  The prequels ALL sucked monkey *ss.  Lucas has nothing left in the tank.
     Now for more proof that Disney will not ruin 'Star Wars'.  1.  Disney owns Marvel and, did you see 'The Avengers'?  Imagine 'Star Wars' in the hands of Joss Wheadon.  Wheadon is 20x's the writer and director that George Lucas is.  2.  'Star Wars' is a fkn goldmine.  Look how long Lucas rode that sh*t and how much money he made with it.  Imagine real talent behind that franchise.  The sky is the limit.  3.  Name the worst Marvel movie Disney's made and I'll bet you my cat it's ten times better than Episode 1.

Arguing With Women

      Women are amazing.  They can be loving and sweet, but watch out, because they can also be vicious and evil.  Don't get me wrong, Women are great but, they can also be fkn brutal.  Not all of them I'm sure some are 100% sweet.  The demons are just probably all the ones I've ever met.  My wife being the exception.  My babies is great but, I bet If, god forbid, we had a falling out, I'd see her inner demon come out too.  Women can be ridiculously cruel and quite a few are also just downright crazy and completly irrational.

     I'll tell you this much, they are all definitely frustrating as hell to argue with.  Any woman can start a fight with you about absolutely nothing and by the end of it they can not only win it but also convince you that the whole damn thing was your fault.  Every single lady I've ever known was like a fkn ninja at arguing.  Not because they are right, most of the time they are dead wrong, it's because they are genetically gifted arguers.

     All women are just born with that gift.  It's in their DNA, a gift and talent passed down from mother to daughter since probably the beginning of time.  They can start a fight with you about nothing and also pull off blaming the entire thing on you because by the end of the fight you are just so damn confused and flustered that you don't even remember what the hell started it or what y'all we're even talking about, much less why it was that you were right way back when it all began.

     Women win these made up fights all the time.  From what I've learned and observed over the years their strategy goes something like this..,

It's On..,

That's it! I'm done.

I've had it! It's fkn on now.


I'm sorry, but I didn't start it, I'm just finishing it. It's been going on for too long and it stops now. Or rather just as soon as I narrow down exactly what it is I'm mad about into something a little more manageable than just everything.

I can't just end everything now can I? Well, not alone anyway. Even if I started off strong pretty soon I'd get tired or hungry and once I stop busting asses to rest and eat I'll either cool back off or more likely get sidetracked. I'm easily distracted. So I'm gonna have to narrow down my list of who's getting it before I explode. Focus it in a little more you know. Focus my rage onto just one annoyance at a time.

So I have some thinking to do but trust me as soon as I finally do pick something from the MANY things I want to end I'm going after it viciously. I'm gonna rain down pain and destruction on whatever it is because I'm sick of just hanging back and getting poked and prodded with sticks all day through the bars of my cage. Someone forgot to lock my cage door and now they are gonna pay.

Just as soon as I figure out who they are.

Sex is harder for guys,

There is a ton of porn on the Internet and I am so thankful for that.
If that sentence offended you turn back now it only gets worse...OK then,
Porn is to me what Linus's blanket was to him. I hardly ever look at it anymore really but I feel safer just knowing its there.
Plus I can't tell you how many times it has helped me release the poison so I could think clearly again. Because being a chubby white guy with a face for radio my quest for tail hasn't always been an easy one.
I imagine its much easier for girls. But isn't everything? I would think even a butt fugly girl can decide she's getting laid and make it happen with enough booze. I know I've been with a few "vampires" myself. For guys its not that easy. I know I could never call it. Most times I have sex its a total surprise for me. I never see it coming..,


Sex is hard for guys. We have to do much more to get it and I know I've done things I would never do just for the chance that it would get me laid. There wasn't much I wouldn't do and I also had to avoid places just because it might stop me from getting any. Like amusement parks and fairs because I'm terrified of heights. I'm not gonna ride some death trap built by the high school dropout that turned in the lowest bid just to have a shot at some action. In those cases I turn to my porn. In my life I have often depended on masturbation. Making sweet love to good Ol' Rosie Palmer, my faithful lady.
Sex is even a lot less awkward for girls. Girls have nothing to hide, but if your an under-endowed guy, that moment when you first show your junk to a girl is very scary for us Lil guys..,

Fat cheating whore!

I had heard that people hooked up on the Internet but I thought those people were the ones who wore pocket protectors and looked like they raided the wardrobe dept from the set of "Revenge of the Nerds" for their outfits. But nope it turns out its also normal for fat housewives from the Midwest like my ex wife.

 

My first wife met and had affairs with two different guys off of the Internet so I know firsthand it happens. Honestly, this blows me away. I cannot believe guys are actually getting laid like this. If you don't know why I'm amazed you've never been a girl online or watched one play an online game.

Guys are pathetic horn-dogs to begin with but online without inhibitions or fear of rejection they are rabid sleazebags with NO shame and they swarm every female player on screen while constantly heckling about the avatars breasts or attributes and using their best game on the girlys all at the same time talking over each other to toss their lame come ons.

Fkn works though. I've seen it. Amazing...