7 Things People Love But Won't Admit They Like

     People are weird, we really are. Every single one of us is a freak in one way or another. Some in many ways. Some in two. Point is we all like weird and odd things and pretend that we don't and everyone knows. Kind of strange that we don't just cut the bullshit and just be real with each other. Till then here's 7 things I noticed about things people are ashamed to like.

Kinky Sex

     You know what's even better than sex? Kinky, nasty, dirty sex that's what, and people the world over know this little fact but despite its immense fan base not that many folks actually admit to being into it. We just haven't come far enough as a species to talk about our various kinks openly I guess. I say that realizing that the previous statement only holds true in the majority of the world but for the sake of time and laziness I'm judging us all as a group. We're just too hung up and worried what others may think of us once they know about they messed up sexual fantasies we act out in our minds as well as in our bedrooms. In certain regards it makes sense for us to be this way because the thing that makes something kinky is that others think its odd. Otherwise it's just normal and that's a bitch for another day.

- Bad Music

     Shitty songs can be an invasive offense to your ears, but they can also be catchy as hell. I cannot count the amount of times I will have some crappy bubblegum pop song stuck on repeat in my head for hours even though I honestly couldn't even tell you how it got there if my life depended on it. There was a recent university study done using teenage children they found watching the children's brainwaves as crappy Pop music was played and they could predict hit songs with 100% accuracy just by watching the pleasure centers of the brain they knew the test subject liked it whether they said they did or not. Turns out that simple, catchy, and easy to sing along with songs please our minds in a way science doesn't even yet fully understand. Now you don't have to be ashamed of liking that crappy song because you can just blame science.

- Crappy TV and Movies

     Do you ever wonder why terrible movies and unwatchable TV shows keep getting made? It's not because people don't like to watch 'em it's because people fucking love to watch them. They keep getting made and will keep getting made because they get the biggest ratings. Americans love to watch other people doing things because we certainly aren't going to do anything so someone should. We live through our "T.V. Friends" like the Kardashians so that their experiences and accomplishments become "our' experiences and accomplishments because we were right there watching them through it all.

     If we want to stop bad television we would have to stop watching bad television and since we are not going to do that we should just strap in.

Ten Life Hacks That Could Help You Improve Your Life Maybe

1. Wake up earlier

     My grandma always used to say, 'Don't sleep your life away son because if you do someone will steal your nut, and you know what? She was right. Unless you're a criminal, or maybe a bartender or stripper most legitimate business takes place during the daytime. If you want to get your slice of the action going you're going to have to be awake to do it. The earlier in the day that your shoes hit the pavement and you start your day the more hustling you are going to get done in the peak money making hours. So, to put it simply you are going to want to get up early. Now, not to be strict with you here but I recommend getting up no later than ten am. I know that is very early and sounds impossible, but, I'm sorry to say it, but it needs to be a hard ten with no more than two snooze presses tops.

     Getting up early is just the first part of starting out your day early. The second part is to start your day. If you get up early and watch Family Guy till noon or two, then eat lunch and take a nap you defeated the entire purpose of getting up early. You did nothing, you made no money, you hustled not at all. Now Jay-Z will tell you that you do not get rich without hustling. Money does not make itself so get out and to work doing something productive by 11am. What you do each day with your new time can be anything you want inside of your own physical and mental limits. You can look for cans on the interstate, beg for money at a truck stop, or work for your cash. Anything is better than nothing is the key here.

2. Eat better

    Do you usually just drink a tall glass of vodka before starting your day? Try adding orange juice to it gradually until one day you can drink it with just juice. Do you eat McDonald's every day? Try not to super size your 'meal'. At least resist the apple pie. I am very aware of the difficulty in that because the 2 for $1 deal on those is outrageously tempting but try to resist it. The key to sticking with your new diet is to cut yourself a little slack. You need to really look deep inside to your very being and be realistic about what you are actually capable of accomplishing with all of your numerous biological hindrances. Basically, set realistic goals for yourself and reward yourself often. This should keep even the weakest willed of you out there engaged enough to at least half assedly reach a few of your goals.

     You should also try to exercise a little and be more active in your daily life. That may sound impossible but surprisingly enough its possible, and it can even be fun if you ease your way into it. The key is Patience. Embrace your laziness, you have to own it. Like in Judo, turn what was a weakness into a strength. You know you are lazy, so give yourself easy goals and constant rewards for sticking with your new plan. Your new plan should be easy too. whatever you think you will do cut it in half. You are far more ambitious in your imagination than you are in real life and you damn well know it.

25 Phenomenal Fun Facts You Really Don't Need To Know

- Lassie was actually played by a group of male dogs and the main ones name was Pal

- Shakespeare invented the words 'bump' and 'assassination'

- Camels chew in a figure 8 pattern and have 3 eyelids

- Cats have more than 100 vocal sounds, dogs only have 10

- There is a Superman in every episode of Seinfeld

- Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins

- Insects outnumber humans 100,000,000 to 1

- A ducks quack doesn't echo

- In the books Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary my dear Watson"

- Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes

5 Funniest Pieces Of Men's Room Graffiti

     Men's room stalls have always been a ready canvas just waiting for an idiot with a pen to scribble their misspelled gems of wisdom, jokes, and viscous racism on them.  I for one love to read these hastily scribbled moronic masterpieces and consider myself a connoisseur of the art of restroom stall vandalism.  If your like me and love to read bathroom stall graffiti you will find none better than the ones you can find in truck stop bathrooms.  The following are my personal favorites that I have found on the men's room stalls in my time working at a truck stop.

#5. For a good time call the police?
     This one actually made the list because of the story behind it.  Everyone has seen the standard 'For a good time call 555-5555' graffiti on a bathroom stall.  Most of the time in regular bathrooms that number is actually just a jaded losers ex-girlfriends phone number.  At truck stops though prostitution is an actual problem and this graffiti was actually placed as a sting by the local police.  So, when Joe Truckdriver dialed up to arrange his 'good time' he was actually making a date to spend the night in jail for soliciting prostitution.

#4. Help, I can't see my willy when I look down!
     This one struck a personal chord with me because not only is it funny but, as a fat guy myself, it also hit me close to home.

#3. Only white people pee on the floor.
     This one is great because it works on so many levels. It can be everything from a nonsensical comment to a derogatory racial statement.  It all depends on how insecure the person reading it is.  Is the artist trying to say that white guys have no manners?  Or is it a statement that white boys have worse aim because their wieners are further from the bowl?