Jerks.

     This year for the A to Z Challenge I have decided to get a little personal with my loyal readers. During this years A to Z I am going to explore 26 of my many pet peeves. I hate almost everything so filling up the alphabet will be a breeze. Today's letter is J so why don't we do Jerks.
     Jerks are a huge pet peeve of mine. A jerk just sets out to ruin things for other people. Whether it be a nasty co-worker, a fellow customer in a store, or wherever you happen to run across a jerk that is usually what you will find them doing. Just hindering or irritating someone or just flat out ruining things for everyone else. Jerks are self centered which is what leads to this oblivious and selfish behaviour. They seem incapable of human empathy or seeing anything from anyone elses point of view. 
     When you are dealing with a jerk your options can become very limited. You see, a jerk doesn't need a very good reason to screw things up for folks. A jerk enjoys making others miserable and takes most opportunities to spew their bile with great enthusiasm. So as you see, jerks enjoy conflict and seek it out so fucking up your day in order to get their rush from being an ass is their favorite activity. Manipulating logic, reason, and morals are all very easy for a jerk because they only really care about upsetting you, and aren't very invested in what is actually being argued. Which leads to very frustrating and extremely uncreative and unproductive discussions. That is the main reason that I hate jerks.
     
     

People Just Suck

    People suck, bad things are going to happen to you and people are going to let you down more often than not. These are facts. They aren't pleasant facts, trust me I don't like them either, but that doesn't make them any less true now does it? It's just a flaw in human nature I think but it's definitely across the board as far as I've ever seen in my short life. It's true in everyone I have ever known including myself. People just suck even when we have the best of intentions we still screw things up in some way even if at first we don't even realize it. It's just the way things are and for the most part society goes on everyday undeterred in spite of it, but every once in awhile the fact that people are just awful at their core will directly affect you or even change your life.
     Something like that recently happened to me as a matter of fact. At the time I wasn't sure how to feel about it and I was just shocked by how much of an asshole this particular person was being to me. Later though, I was able to see that he had actually done me a huge favor. It works out that way sometimes, but it can and does go the other way too. When that happens it's not as much fun and it is very aggravating to have to deal with in a society that frowns on physical violence and revenge. Taking away the two best ways to respond when someone fucks up your day or worse yet your entire life really limits your options. You're essentially only left with bitching and whining to everyone who will listen or even worse resorting to pouring out endless streams of tears in blind fits of alternating states of rage and hopelessness.

     While I understand how awful these situations can be and how much you may just want to give up but whatever you do, don't ever do that. Never ever never give up. If some asshole messes things up for you and you give up and quit trying to be happy then the terrorists win. You cannot let that happen so you have to keep your sexy little chin up high and push on past the assholes and haters in this life. Do not EVER let ANYONE dictate to you whether or not you can reach your goals and dreams. Fail on your own and when you fail make sure that you do it on your own terms pursuing whatever it is that you want in this life and pay no attention at all to the haters. Haters are going to hate but guess what else, haters are also dirty masturbaters so who cares what a bunch of peter pullers think anyway?
     Life is hard enough already all by itself without letting some asshole keep you from pursuing all that even matters in this life, your happiness. You can't change people or make them stop sucking because people just suck. I suck and you do too so stop worrying about it so much. Deal with the idiot in your way at the moment and then move on head held high and go out and be an asshole to someone yourself in pursuit of whatever it may be that you want. 

     You have got to embrace your inner asshole. The strongest, happiest and most successful people in the world all understand that everyone sucks and they have not only embraced that fact but have used it to their advantage to achieve all of their dreams. You can do it too! All you have to do is believe in yourself. With enough faith in yourself even you can be a big enough asshole to go out there and get whatever you might want in life so, go get tiger.

Drive it like you stole it..,

Driving offensive isn't enough anymore if you want to stay safe on the roads and survive your daily commute. You have got to drive aggressive. Or more to the point drive like a total ass.
Seem harsh? Well, it's not. You have got to get in these crazy a-holes faces before they can get in yours. Keep in mind, they are trying to kill you. So I say beat them to the punch and fk 'em if they can't take a joke.
If they ride your tail, slow way down. I hate that fkn move. That's just a very douchey move. They're just like "Hey I wanna pass this guy ahead of me but instead of just using the WIDE open lane next to him to do it I'm gonna get all the way up his ass till he moves over for me."

Cap'n Crunch: Fake Captain and Horse's Ass

Cap'n Crunch is a ruthless son of a bitch.

 He is very well aware that his cereal cuts the hell out of the roof of your mouth and he simply just does not care.

Trust me y'all, he's a jerk, PERIOD.

Just look at that smug ass smile on his face...he knows damn well he's not putting that spoonful of golden razors into his mouth. My God, I mean, just look at how calm he is in that picture. He knows damn well he ain't eating that spoonful of Golden daggers.

That's as far as that spoon is going to go, right there 2 inches from his mouth, it ain't going past that moustache.

 Hell, you can tell just from the lack of fear in his blue eyes that spoon stops right there. Because, everyone who eats Cap'n Crunch cereal knows damn well it's gonna hurt like hell and yet I see no fear in those big blue eyes at all.

I don't see a bit of concern at all really. I see a lying cereal ship captain.  Which is a huge lie as well.  He's no captain.  He's a Cap'n, whatever that is and of what is he even Cap'n of exactly?  Has anyone ever even seen his boat ever?  I don't see a boat eye patch or a parrot.  I see a liar and a jerk.

You can be a big fake Cap'n and even fake a big 'ol eager smile on your face really easy but, faking trust?  That's different.

Trust is hard to fake in the eyes.   Especially in the eyes, the eyes don't like to lie.  Great actors can do it but tricking your eyes and controlling true fear is a talent.

This guy is just a bad man who will cut any kid to shred at $4 a box and does not give a sh*t.

That is not a picture of someone about to eat Cap'n Crunch...in that picture you can clearly see that his mouth definitely trusts his hand not to actually put that spoon inside of it or any closer at all or there would be fear in those eyes.

Fk, Cap'n Crunch, or whatever his name really is, knows damn well he wouldn't eat one spoonful of Cap'n Crunch cereal but he'll sure trick just as many kids as his lying deceitful *ss can into doing just that, and has over a 50 year career.

Just mercilessly cutting small children and stoner's mouths up to rivets no problem.

Why you say?  I told you...It's because Cap'n Crunch is an asshole...That's all.


Now don't get me wrong here.

Cap'n Crunch's cereal is delicious.

I love it.

It hurts to eat it for sure, no doubt, but its really very tasty.

Oh and don't even get me started on his fkn Crunch Berries.  OMG!, those colorful round crunchy sugar sh*t's are delicious. 

You know whats weird though.., Crunch Berries are round and yet they even cut your mouth up worse than the jagged ass rectangles of the regular plain kind.  Riddle on that a bit...?

But fuck me, I love that dirty bastards cereal and so do a lot of folks.

It's just soooo damn good is all.  Crazy true but, I'm not the only one that thinks so.

It's a hella popular *ss breakfast cereal, and it has been for as  long as Ol' 'Tony The Tiger's' Frosted Flakes have been coated in milky sugar. 

We eat it in spite of the pain.  Lot's and Lot's of people do every day for breakfast, so you can imagine, it must be a pretty damn good cereal beings that we all know for a fact that it cuts our mouth up every time, we fkn eat it anyway, joyfully and even willingly.

Seriously though, sugary shits painful to eat, that's a fact so it should be a dead give away that it's delicious for it to have stayed so popular for so long full of tiny shards of glass or whatever that twisted sugar Cap'n puts in that crap that makes it such a violent breakfast treat

Cap'n Crunch cereal has been cutting the shit out of the roves of millions of peoples mouths and our dumb ass's just keep lining back up for more torture.
So yes, it's delicious, I can totally recommend eating it everyday for sure but, if you do, always remember.., drink your orange juice first.

That's an important tip most people won't tell you, especially not that mute ass lying crunch Cap'n, but its true.

If you wait to drink it after the Crunchy goodness the acid in the OJ will play pure hell on your freshly shredded up mouth. Cap'n Crunch is tasty but it's fkn ruthless.

So in closing, my point here is not to tell you to not Cap'n Crunch's delicious golden sugary cereal. That's totally up to you entirely. Eat it, don't eat it, either way. I'd eat it if I was you, it's worth the pain, but serially my objective here was always simply to point out once and for all, the fact that, Cap'n Crunch the man, and BS Cap'n is a complete jerk and a filthy liar and he just really sucks.  No other cereal monster or mascot likes Cap'n Crunch at all.  He has no friends, not one damn crew member, and he Cap'ns a spoon.

 
He's a liar for sure, he absolutely refuses to admit the fact that his cereal ALWAYS shreds mouths up something fierce every bowl and he knows it damn well but, he's a jerk and, he doesn't even warn you with an evil wink or disclaimer or fkn decoder ring.., not nothing.

Tell me that shit ain't ruthless!

Dammit that picture of him faking that bite is the worst..,

Go ahead, I challenge you, just try to eat one spoonful as fearless and even eager as that liar seems in that picture and you'll never ever do it again.  You'll pay for that mistake in mouth skin for sure..,

Anyways folks, you just gotta be cautious to enjoy the Cap'n is all. He won't prepare you for eating his cereal at all. Honestly, he is useless.

F U Cap'n Crunch.., F U straight in the A.  Deep.

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