Danger Zone

     Do you ever wonder why men do stupid things? 

Is it just because they are fun and/or exciting?

    Maybe not...  

    Maybe, just maybe now, it's because we just need that little rush that it gives us.  Maybe that's what being truly alive really even is. The danger of exposure to danger itself. The threat of being caught exposed. Arrested or even killed. 

    A literal wild animal tamed...

    It could just be that every once in awhile, even the tamest of us just need to feel the rush of doing taboo or dangerous things though.  I don't know, but I do know, if it's what it takes to feel alive, but I know that it's not what being truly smart is though for sure. In fact, the pursuit of danger, is almost never smart. Its 99% dumb to follow danger as your guide.

     Most of the time when your brain tells you that something is stupid it's because it is.  You should listen to it because thinking is your brains main job. Only job really.  

    When you don't listen to your brains sound, thought out,  advice and just go ahead and do it anyway, it's on you after that. Simple.  You didn't fuck up because you didn't know better, you did it in spite of that fact. 

    You did it because you wanted to do it.

     Being bipolar I do things like that all the time, for example I recently did something exactly like that. It was the dumbest thing that I ever did and I will never be able to live it down much less forget about it. 

    Things will never really be the same after what I did this last time. And that's like every time i follow the danger path. Sometimes I am so stupid I feel that I might be gifted in the art of stupidity.

    A Zen Master Of Idiocy.

    Or in English; A human man.

      

Different Kinds Of Boobs Joke

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

Penis Names Joke

In honor of that great Mark Twain quote here is today's joke for you to laugh at...

Why do men name their penises?

Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.

Fear Of Panties

     Attention ALL guys out there in Internet land - Don't EVER be afraid of panties.  Panties can't hurt you.  Not that I know of anyway.  But, I know a lot of guys who are very scared of panties.  And that is so sad to me.  As a matter of fact I have a few friends that won't even go into the pantie section at the store.  
     I, on the other hand, happen to love the pantie section.  I enjoy buying my lady's panties.  It's sexy to me.  Hell, sometimes I even wear them damn things.  You should try it, they are fkn comfy as hell.  Plus your man business looks really great in them.

The Motion Of The Ocean

     Sex can put a ton of pressure on us guys.  I really don't think the ladies know just how much pressure there really is on us men when it comes to sex.  Sometimes guys can get very serious performance anxiety because it's just so damn stressful.  Especially the first time your with a girl.  Forget about it, OMG, that can be super fkn scary. 
     The main reason it's so stressful and scary is because we really want to do a good job so we can get a return engagement not to mention a good review.  We have to give 110% that first time because we may not ever get a second chance and, we really want that second chance because, that means more sex for us.  So, God forbid we blow it, because she not only won't give us anymore lovin', but she could also totally ruin us socially and humiliate us among her female friends, not to mention on Facebook. 
     So really it's like having sex with all her friends at the same time without getting to have sex with all her friends because they are all going to hear all about your strong or lack thereof.  So, there is a ton on the line once the panties drop and the action starts.  It's like and audition, or the world's most naked job interview.

Men With Breasts

     I'm a man and, I have breasts.  I try to deny it but, I do.  I have ever since I was a little kid.  I try to ignore them but I see 'em, I know they are there, plus my wife actually plays with them.  Can you believe that?  I've begged her not to but, she still does.  Do you have any idea how emasculating it is to have your breasts fondled as a guy? It's very emasculating OK girls. Totally, completely, extremely, redonkulously, emasculating.
     I've always had man-boobies, far back as I can remember, and I've always also tried to ignore them too.  I do.  I really do pretend they're not there.  Whenever I can I totally black them out.  It's a valuable skill to have.  The human mind really is an amazing thing.  You can convince yourself of anything you want but, every once in a while, a mirror, a picture of yourself, or hell, even a damn shadow will remind you that they are there.  The rest of the time us big tittied males actually do convince ourselves they look like muscular pecs instead of the perky, plump 'B' cups that they actually are.

Perfect Comb-Over's

     Guys who actually believe baldness can be hidden effectively by simply using a bad ass comb-over to hide their bald spot are not only incredibly delusional but also a free source of amusement to all. Every single comb-over is ridiculous looking but each glorious one is also unique and original. Each one amuses us all every time we see a grown man fighting reality and baldness by using the art of the comb-over to hide a huge bald spot. These desperate delusional man clowns have forced themselves to believe that their comb-over is fooling everyone and thankfully parade their ridiculous selves around for our amusement.