Homophobia Is Gay

Does this pic look a little gay to you..?
     What is more queer than being uncomfortable around gay people? I'm asking literally not figuratively. I think that being homophobic is more gay than actually being gay is.  To quote a favorite comic of mine, Patton Oswalt, being homophobic is, 'gayer than 8 guys doing 9 guys'. 
     Sorry to be so blunt but, to me, it really is. I mean for one, why would you even care who other people are having sex with? You don't have to be there, or watch them, and your not even involved at all, so wtf would even bother you about it? It simply would have to be that just the knowledge of who they choose to have sex with has made you imagine yourself in a same sex situation, and that thought of you with a same sex partner has made you uncomfortable. Because otherwise why would you care?  There is a simple answer to that question.., you wouldn't.
     I worked with a guy at my last job who was a complete homophobe.  As soon as I found out about it I tortured him with it.  I'd ask him if he wanted to come over and watch 'Brokeback Mountain' with me and he'd just squirm with disgust.  I loved it.  The more he squirmed the further I'd take it.  I'd tell him I had bought a double Snuggie and we could just sit on the couch, watch it, and cuddle.  He would get so upset, and pretty soon, I had lots of guys torturing him with it.  One day in the break room, two guys even gang humped him like Will Ferrel and Chris Kattan in that old SNL skit that they based 'Night at the Roxberry' on.  It was so hilarious watching them pelvic bump him back and forth and, as I recall, the smile on his face during that particular moment was just absolutely priceless.
     Do you know what people at that job called him behind his back?  They called him gay.  Why did they say that about him?  He didn't really act gay or effeminate.  But if you were describing him to someone who didn't know him they would always say, 'Who do you mean?  Is it the guy who looks like he's gay?' and you'd have to be like, 'Yes! That guy.'  I still don't know why they all said that.  Even before my teasing they said it.  I guess it was just the vibe he gave off.  Maybe gay-dar is a real thing after all or, just maybe, he made himself a target by being so suspiciously homophobic.  I'm much more inclined to believe the latter.
     My point is basically live and let live.  You don't have to agree with what other people are doing but try to remember, they are other people, they aren't you.  So, keep your biased opinions to yourself or, who knows, people might start referring to you as 'The Gay Guy'.

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  1. *cheers* I wish people could just all realize people are people. I mean unless you are wondering if somebody is a part of YOUR dating pool, this issue is just really a non-issue. The language is set up against us in a way though--I struggled with my kids using 'gay' as a putdown--took me a long time to get them to understand that it made it an assumed negative. And just like calling someone a sissy or calling a boy 'a girl' it makes it so the word used is equated as a BAD thing... (putting down gay or female people, as it were)

    1. I'm bad about using that language too so, I can relate to the kids beings I am an overgrown one myself. I know for me, and I think the kids as well, we don't mean 'gay' in the homosexual way. That word has too many meanings and I think people forget that for some it is very offensive. But, that always takes me back to Richard Pryor's bit about the 'N' word. I believe his theory is correct and we give certain words power and we should take their power away by using them until they are meaningless. Anyway, we can change the world gradually for now, thank you for your comment, and visit. I'm glad you liked it!


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