Creed 'Spoiler Free' Movie Review

     I grew up on Rocky Balboa. In my opinion the first Rocky is easily one of the top 10 films of all time. I have loved all of the Rocky films my whole life. The original Rocky won best picture the year that I was born. I grew up on Rocky. I have seen every Rocky film countless times. I love them all, all of them, even Rocky 5. To me Rocky Balboa can do no wrong. So when I heard they were making a Rocky spin-off about Rocky training Apollo Creed's son I  was already very excited.     When you are that excited for a film it can be a bad thing because your expectations are so high that almost nothing could possibly live up to. You have already made your own theories of what the movie will be like and in all of them it is amazing. If this movie isn't just as good or better than the movies you made up in your own imagination you're going to be disappointed. Let me start by saying if you are afraid that I am going to say that Creed is one of those movies let me put you at ease by telling you that it was a great film. It was well written, terrifically acted, perfectly paced, and directed while staying loyal to the subject matter and still being it's own thing. My wildest fantasies of what the film would turn out to be like were blown away.     Let me start off by talking about the performance by Michael B. Jordan as Apollo Creed's illegitimate son, Adonis. He's amazing. He channels just enough of Carl Weathers Apollo Character through in his portrayal of the young light heavyweight contender who seeks out his father's old nemesis and eventual best friend Rocky Balboa to train him to make you start to believe he actually might be Carl's son. He is that believable as Creed's son and also believable as a boxer. You could see the work the actor had done to truly become Adonis Creed. Then you have Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa which is always great and this time was no different. My favorite scenes were the ones with the two of them together. Their chemistry was as good or better that the chemistry between Rocky and Apollo and as a result the movie turned out great.     I loved this movie. It lived up to and surpassed everything I had imagined and also it stood on its own as well. I have to say I was surprised when there were no Oscar nominations for Ryan Coogler or Michael B. Jordan. I was sure that there would be. It was that good. I am looking forward to seeing what comes next in the Creed franchise and what direction the story takes. Jordan, Coogler, and Stallone have agreed to more so we should hopefully see more soon. Go see it, it's well worth the ticket price.

Video Of The Week 1/2/15

     Another week has passed and I have watched a figurative shit ton of videos. Some good, some bad, some very bad but this one is the one that I picked to share with you here today. It's a look at Home Alone by the Onion's film critic Peter K. Rosenthal. This in depth look at the holiday classic shows us just how dangerous a message the film sends and how Kevin McAllister could have been made safer by his negligent parents if they had just owned a damn gun. If you like smartass comedy then your going to love this. Enjoy, 

3 Reasons To Not Watch '3 Days To Kill'

     I am not going to bother with seeing 3 Days To Kill and in this review of this film that I have not, and don't even plan to ever see I will tell you the reasons why.

Reason One: Kevin Costner

     This movie stars Kevin Costner, and while that is the first reason that I do not plan to ever see it, it's not so much that it stars him as it is that it stars Kevin Costner as an action star.  Kevin Costner is just not believable as an action star.  Kevin Costner is believable as a minor league baseball pitcher, or an amateur golfer, or maybe even a lunatic that dances with wolves but not as an action star.  I am not even convinced that he still even qualifies as a star at all.  As a matter of fact if 3 days to kill was about Kevin Costner spending three days trying to convince a twenty year old Hooters waitress that he once was famous only to fail miserably, go home and kill of a thirty pack of natural light while he sat in the dark crying playing The Bodyguard on a constant loop I'd be much more likely to see it.
     Now, I know what your thinking, and you are wrong imaginary person.  Your thinking this is Hollywood we are talking about here.  The land of magic and make believe.  They can do anything in Hollywood can't they?  Hell, Hollywood made Liam Neeson a bad ass in Taken, couldn't they do that with Kevin Costner?  I'm sorry person who isn't really talking to me but, no, they can't.  On the one hand while they did make Liam into a bad mofo in Taken, Kevin Costner is no Liam Neeson and, on the other hand Waterworld.

Reason Two: The Commercial Sucks

     If you can't even make a promo for your film interesting enough to hold my attention for a full 60 second commercial how can you expect me to go see the movie.  Before my eyes even fully processed that I was somehow actually seeing Kevin Costner's face in a current movie preview I was already checking my phone.  It took me six more times of seeing that stupid ad to finally learn what the name of the movie was, and I've yet to even make it through the whole commercial even one single time and I watch a shit-ton of TV.  I will not watch a film thats commercial makes me want to change the channel.

Reason Three: The Terrorist In The Movie Is White

     I mean come on!  A white terrorist?!?  What's next a film about an Asian Nascar driver?  Why not a white heavyweight boxing champion.  Or how about a movie about a thriving dental practice located in a trailer park?  I mean for Christ sake, it's 2014, I think by now everyone knows that terrorists are Arabic and from countries with oil and lots of caves for hiding.  That is just common knowledge.  It wasn't all that long ago that George W. Bush explained quite clearly how the Axis Of Evil works and where it is.  I mean what do you even do to fight a white terrorist?  Bomb Utah?  That makes no sense.  There isn't any oil in Utah.

     So there you have it.  Three excellent reasons to not see the movie 3 Days To Kill.  For those of you who saved $12 from my advice you are welcome.  For those of you who were not so lucky, I truly am very sorry.

Wreck-It Ralph Movie Review

     Wreck-It Ralph was the 2012 animated comedy from Walt Disney in which a video game villain gets sick of his role in his game as the bad guy and wants to be a hero.  So, he sets off on an adventure in the other games of the arcade to try to earn his medal, and finally become a hero.  Along his way he meets Vanellope von Schweetz, a glitchy young girl who is ostracized by the characters in her game.  Ralph then decides to help Vanellope to earn her place in her game, and to find acceptance.  
     It was a really great movie filled with humor, video game references, and many cameos by classic video game characters.  The stellar voice cast, led by John C. Reilly, and Sarah Silverman, do a fantastic job of bringing life, and hilarity to the characters, and drive the story of this sweet, funny film with a terrific message.  Wreck-It Ralph is a great family film that I would recommend to anyone.  Do yourself a favor and check this film out tonight!

Idiocracy - Movie Review

     As part of a top secret project conducted by the Pentagon two Americans, Private Joe Bauers, and Rita a prostitute, are put under as test subjects for the "Human Hibernation Project".  Joe, and Rita are only supposed to be under for a year but, the officer in charge of the operation, and the only one who knows that the two are in hibernation, gets busted and sent away, and the two of them don't awaken for 500 years.  What they find is that in 2505 the world is ran by stupid people, and corporate entities, because the morons have out bred the intelligent folks, and Joe is now easily the smartest man alive.