Alright, party's over. I hate to be the one to break it to you but, yes that was your alarm clock already and worse yet, yes it is Monday morning. I know that upsets you but it's true and we know it hurts so we give you a joke every Monday morning to help you start your week out. This Monday is no different so here's your joke;
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, he went directly over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to play you because your failing math but we need you in there. So kid, I'm gonna ask you a math question and if you get it right, you can play." The player eagerly agreed and so the coach continued, "Okay, what is two plus two?" The player concentrated deeply thinking very hard and then he finally answered, "Four coach?" The coach was visibly surprised that he got it right and excitedly he screamed, "Jesus Christ son, did you just say four?" The player was crushed and the other players on the team pleaded, "Aww coach, come on, give him another chance."
1. Wake up earlier
My grandma always used to say, 'Don't sleep your life away son because if you do someone will steal your nut, and you know what? She was right. Unless you're a criminal, or maybe a bartender or stripper most legitimate business takes place during the daytime. If you want to get your slice of the action going you're going to have to be awake to do it. The earlier in the day that your shoes hit the pavement and you start your day the more hustling you are going to get done in the peak money making hours. So, to put it simply you are going to want to get up early. Now, not to be strict with you here but I recommend getting up no later than ten am. I know that is very early and sounds impossible, but, I'm sorry to say it, but it needs to be a hard ten with no more than two snooze presses tops.
Getting up early is just the first part of starting out your day early. The second part is to start your day. If you get up early and watch Family Guy till noon or two, then eat lunch and take a nap you defeated the entire purpose of getting up early. You did nothing, you made no money, you hustled not at all. Now Jay-Z will tell you that you do not get rich without hustling. Money does not make itself so get out and to work doing something productive by 11am. What you do each day with your new time can be anything you want inside of your own physical and mental limits. You can look for cans on the interstate, beg for money at a truck stop, or work for your cash. Anything is better than nothing is the key here.
2. Eat better
Do you usually just drink a tall glass of vodka before starting your day? Try adding orange juice to it gradually until one day you can drink it with just juice. Do you eat McDonald's every day? Try not to super size your 'meal'. At least resist the apple pie. I am very aware of the difficulty in that because the 2 for $1 deal on those is outrageously tempting but try to resist it. The key to sticking with your new diet is to cut yourself a little slack. You need to really look deep inside to your very being and be realistic about what you are actually capable of accomplishing with all of your numerous biological hindrances. Basically, set realistic goals for yourself and reward yourself often. This should keep even the weakest willed of you out there engaged enough to at least half assedly reach a few of your goals.
You should also try to exercise a little and be more active in your daily life. That may sound impossible but surprisingly enough its possible, and it can even be fun if you ease your way into it. The key is Patience. Embrace your laziness, you have to own it. Like in Judo, turn what was a weakness into a strength. You know you are lazy, so give yourself easy goals and constant rewards for sticking with your new plan. Your new plan should be easy too. whatever you think you will do cut it in half. You are far more ambitious in your imagination than you are in real life and you damn well know it.