25 Great Quotes To Read While You're In The Bathroom

- "Adults are just outdated children." -- Dr. Seuss

- "The secret of getting ahead is getting started." -- Mark Twain

- "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail." -- Ben Franklin

- "I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too." -- Daniel Tosh

- "Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else." -- Margaret Mead

- "Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." -- Don Marquis

- "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." -- Steve Martin

- "Why can't we all just get along." -- Rodney King

- "Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." -- Mark Twain

- "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and I am too." -- Oscar Levant

- "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, she changes it more often." -- Oliver Herford

- "Too much agreement kills a chat." -- Eldridge Cleaver

- "Don't worry about avoiding temptation, as you get older it will avoid you." -- Joey Adams

- "My one regret in life is that I am not another person." -- Woody Allen

- "If two things don't make a right, try three." -- Lawrence J. Peter

- "Life is hard, after all it kills you." -- Katherine Hepburn

- "There are a lot of people who mistake their imagination for their memory." -- Josh Billings

- "I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it." -- W. C. Fields

- "All organizations are false including this one." -- Mark Twain

- "Communism is like one big phone company." -- Lenny Bruce

- "I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either." -- Jack Benny

- "I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my drink." -- David Lee Roth

- "The suspense is terrible, I hope it will last." -- Oscar Wilde

- "A child of 5 would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of 5." -- Groucho Marx

- "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz