4/22/13

Stupidity Epidemic


     Science has let us down yet again by ignoring the biggest disease plaguing humanity today.  It is a disease that an overwhelming majority of the population is afflicted by, and all of society is affected by everyday.  I'm speaking of course about stupidity.  Stupidity is completely out of control, and something must be done to cease this epidemic right away before the stupidity epidemic is allowed to do more damage to our world than it already has.  So, like always, I have decided to fix this problem for the world myself.

     Stupid people breed like rabbits, which is how stupidity became an epidemic in the first place.  So to stop the spread of the stupidity gene we must stop them from breeding immediately.  Now, I know what your thinking, how can we stop the stupid from breeding when unprotected sex is the number one activity of stupid people?  The answer to that is simple.  We can't stop the stupid from having sex, but we can stop the spread of the stupid gene by mass neutering all of the stupid males currently walking the planet.
     Now, since laziness is the second biggest disease infecting humanity, I know what you thinking.  Your thinking that neutering all of the stupid males walking the Earth sound like it would be really hard, and a lot of work.  Well, rest assured because it won't be.  You have to remember we are dealing with stupid people here so all we have to do is outsmart them which will be very easy.  Here is what we do.  We mass market a chemical neutering cream as the worlds greatest penile enhancer, and we give it away for free to the first seven billion callers.
     Phase two, after all the morons are neutered, every male who didn't fall for the superhuman penile enhancement cream trick will have to begin procreating immediately.  I can only do so much, so I will need the other few still fertile males to pitch in and do their part.  Executed correctly this plan can end stupidity in one generation.  
     So lets get our scientists on this immediately so that we can end the stupidity epidemic once and for all.  With this problem now solved all that is left for me to say is goodbye for now, and your welcome.

6 comments:

  1. Too bad stupidity isn't more painful. But then I might be in a lot of pain...

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  2. So you admit it ... stupidity is caused by men. yes!

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    Replies
    1. Well, of course it is. I thought everyone already knew that.

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  3. I'm always quoting that Einstein passage, down at Mensa...ahem...
    If we did get rid of all the stupid people, then we wouldn't have reality TV...and I wouldn't find myself a partner. :)

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    1. I wouldn't miss reality TV at all. I also doubt you'd have any trouble finding a partner.

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