6/4/14

5 Reasons Premature Ejaculation Is Really No Ones Fault



     When I was younger, and sex was new, I used to be a premature ejaculator.  Alright, stop snickering right now, were all adults here dammit.  Premature ejaculation is a real, and serious problem, trust me I know because I prematurely ejaculated like all the time.  You could say I'm an expert at reaching the finish line early in bed.  I even had quite the reputation.  The ladies in my town all knew me as Quick Draw McSmall.  It was awful, and I was really super insecure about it back then, but now I think I understand what the problem was and I want to share this information and help my fellow one pump jumpers out there in Internet land that suffer from premature ejaculation like I used to.


1. Lots of women actually suck at sex

I'm here, I'm naked... What more do you want?
     I believe that the reason so many men suffer from premature ejaculation actually boils down to the fact that so many women are lazy, and unskilled at sex.  It's true, and nothing against women, its actually our fault.  You see, us men tend to kiss up to women and pursue them constantly, which in turn makes them all think that they are awesome.  So, since they all walk around all the time thinking that they are so damn great, they simply don't try at all when it comes to sex.   Then when they are just laying there, phoning in the sex, we are so thrilled to actually be inside of them that we don't want to risk not being inside of them because we told them that they suck at it.  It's a vicious circle that breeds inadequacy and frustration.
     Don't get me wrong, orgasms feel great.  Amazingly spectacular actually.  But, so does vagina and, I like a lot of vagina before I climax.  Call me crazy but, to me, there is no such thing as too much vagina.  So, as a young apprentice wiener slinger, I'd be really sad when I came after only like ten strokes.  Relaxed, a little stoned, and completely fantastic, but sad at the same time for all those extra strokes that I had missed out on.  Plus, the look of disappointment on my partners face didn't help things at all.  I'm sorry is such an awkward thing for someone to say right after sex but, unfortunately it's something I said quite a lot in those days.  I don't think saying sorry ever made up for letting her down though.  Especially because it's hard to take an apology seriously from someone with an ear to ear smile, and a look of pure ecstasy on their face but, I really was sorry.


2. Young men aren't properly prepared for sex

 We're gonna be using funny words but we'll be explaining nothing.
We're gonna say funny words but explain nothing
     You know back in middle school when they separated the girls and the boys to teach sex-ed?  Well, I don't know what they taught the girls but, what I do know is that they didn't teach us boys shit.  All I even remember from that crap is what a penis looks like from the side if its split in two.  I don't know why the school board thought that knowing what my whole goodie area looks like cut in half was important but, I do know that its burned so deeply into my mind that I will never, ever forget it.  But, other than that extremely scarring image that is forever burned into my brain I learned absolutely nothing about sexuality, much less the act of sex itself.
     This lack of real sexual education is not the school systems fault.  The reason it's not is because sex has no place in a public school classroom.  Sex is an intimate, spiritual, and beautiful experience.  It cannot be taught from a book, or by showing disturbing clinical images of cut in half genitals, and definitely not by making a bunch of kids chuckle at words like penis and vagina.  Sexual education has no place in our politically correct, anal school system.  As uncomfortable as it may be sexual education needs to be explained by parents in an honest and compassionate way.


3. Vaginas Feel Amazing


I want to have that kind of relationship with my vagina.
     I will never forget the first time I got to feel the inside of a real life vagina.  I had never felt anything so amazing in my entire life and I haven't since either.   Vagina feels so amazing that I don't know what word to use to describe how good it feels so I just went with amazing because I was at a loss.  And, just for those of you who don't know much about penis', they are very sensitive.  Making a penis feel that good can get it too excited even If you are trying really hard to keep it together and last long for your lady.  The pleasure can just get to be too much for us to hold off climaxing and the next thing you know we just can't fight it anymore and then boom goes the dynamite.
     I don't think sometimes that women understand that vagina just really does feels so fantastic that it makes things hard for us wiener slingers much less that men cannot completely control what our wieners do when they are balls deep inside of all that vaginal greatness.  I think if they understood they would understand how a guy might lose control of his willy they would take an early finish as a huge compliment.  Every time it ever happened to me though the girl was always visibly disappointed.  It happened so often actually that it took me awhile to break myself of saying sorry right after i'd climax.


4. People are too uptight to communicate about sex

And then you are going to find out that you don't like each other.
     It makes no sense, but it's true.  Two people can be completely naked and freely exploring each others bodies and yet still be afraid to talk to each other.  I have experienced it many times myself.  I have had girls give me oral and over teeth it a bit, I never said a word.  I couldn't, I was too scared that if I complained about the pain she would stop doing it all together.  I think the main reason for this phenomenon is that people are so insecure with themselves that they are scared to criticize in bed because they don't wanna be picked apart in return.
     I know it can be really hard to hear that you are doing something sexually that your partner isn't liking much but, in the end it would be so much better if you did because you would both be much happier and more satisfied sexually.  You should try to be as open and honest as possible during sex just do it in a way that you would want it done to you.  There is a right and a wrong way to correct a toothy BJ and, "Damn bitch, watch your teeth" is the wrong way.  Say it sweetly but with bass in your voice.  Don't say it like a scared little boy asking for money for a soda, say it like a man wanting something kinky done in bed.


This goes for you ladies too!
   5. Girls need to be more encouraging in bed

     For most guys, how they perform in bed relies heavily on whether or not they think the girl is digging what they are doing.  Otherwise, and sadly this is from personal experience, when the girl acts bored it just feels like you are masturbating on top of someone which just makes you want to end it.  Sex should feel like a pleasurable, erotic, and joining experience with your sexual partner.  If you like something, let us know.  If it feels good, say so.  Moan.  There is nothing wrong with moaning ever.  No one will ever complain.  Trust me on this girls, the better you make him feel about himself the better the sex will be.  So moan and squirm a little bit and everybody wins.
     I think with following these helpful tips we've shared with you here we can all take a large leap towards ending the stigma that goes with premature ejaculation if not eliminate it all together.  The only way to get better at anything is to practice so, practice sex often as you can so you can get really good at it.  I think you will find it, as I have, to be a very rewarding pursuit.  It really is like the sad janitor sweeping the sidewalk on American Dad said, "Sex is a lot like sweeping.  Easy to learn, impossible to master." 
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For more from L@L2 click below for our piece 'Put a thong on your strong.'


Click the above pic and read more from L@L2 about sex
"Put A Thong On Your Strong."

     

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