Virgin Conspiracies - 'Cup Of Soup'

     Hi, I'm Stanley.  I'm 27, a level 29 elf mage in D & D, an Internet, and computer wizard, a very snappy dresser, a Mensa member, and a virgin.  I rent out the basement of my Moms house for free.  I love living with my Mom, I really do, and I love my Mommy tons but, I think she is lying to me about a lot of things.  I aim to find out using the wonderful tools of my soul mate, the Internet, to find out if she is.
     Mom says that if I moved out of her basement I'd find the world very cold, and hard to survive in.  Mom says that I wouldn't even be able to afford to feed myself on my measly six figure salary.  But, I have been doing some research, and I just discovered an affordable food item called 'Cup Of Soup'.

     It turns out that this 'Cup Of Soup' is very reasonably priced indeed.  The research that I have done tells me that I could feed myself 'Cup Of Soup' for a month for under twenty bucks, and all I would need to prepare it is water and a microwave.  Which works out great because Mom has never allowed me to use the stove, because she says that it's too dangerous, so I never learned how.
     I feel like I'm getting a lot closer to blowing the lid off of my Mom's lies here, and maybe even to reaching my ultimate goal of landing a real live girlfriend.  I'm going to have to get to work and really dig deep in to the Internets infinite knowledge to find out just how far this goes.  Come back next time when I try to find the cure for cooties that my Mom says every girl has, and there is no cure for.