Here are the latest funny jokes that I was told or overheard or maybe just found that I'm gonna share with you, my loyal laughing readers..,
A man left work on Friday afternoon but, since it was payday, instead of heading home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his boys and spent his whole paycheck. When he finally came home, Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife and she tore him a new for hours. After reaming him royally she finally asked him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two whole days?". To which the man replied without hesitation, "That would be just fine by me." So, Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went as well and still he didn't see her. Then on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough that he could see her a little bit out of the corner of his left eye.
I just love marriage jokes. They are always so damn funny because they are just so damn true. My wife would beat me down for running my mouth like that too.
Two married guys are out drinking one night and one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what to do. Every time that I get home after I've been out drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast quietly into the garage. I take my shoes off before I enter the house, sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom with the light off, then ease quietly into the bed and my wife still always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late." His buddy looks at him a moment, downs his beer and replies, "Well buddy, your obviously taking the wrong approach. When I'm coming home from the bar I screech loudly into the driveway, slam the car door, storm up the steps, jump into the bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'Hey baby, how about a quick BJ?", ...She never wakes up, much less says a word."
See, this marriage joke is filled with truth and great advice. Try it out tonight, it works!
One day while Little Johnny's Dad was getting out of the shower when Little Johnny looked down and asked, "Dad, what is that hanging there between you legs?" To which his Dad replied, "Oh Johnny, that's my nerve and one day yours will be just as big as mine." The next day at school Little Johnny had to pee real bad so he raised his hand and said, "Miss Teacher, I really need to go to the bathroom." But, the Teacher said no because someone else was already in there. Little Johnny just couldn't hold his water though so, he went over to the garbage can and started to pee in it. The Teacher was appalled and yelled, "Little Johnny, you have some nerve peeing in my trashcan in front of the whole class!" To which Little Johnny replied, "Oh that's nothing, you should see my fathers."
I just love Little Johnny. He is so honest and oblivious and it makes him hilarious.
Thanks for stopping by and laughing with us here at Laughing at Life, 2 today. If you'd like even more hilarious jokes check out our many joke pages above. Thanks for stopping by and see you next time!