The Super Bowl is coming up soon and that has everyone wondering, what did I have for dinner last night? Well folks, let me tell you once and for all. Meatball subs. OK, every ones curiosity about my dinner satisfied, its time to talk about the biggest game of the year in American Football.
This year the NFL played all its teams against each other all year and the teams with the best records played against each other on TV till only two teams are left to play to see who's going to get to go to Disney World, and pour Gatorade on their coach this year. The winner of this one last highly anticipated game will win this years Super Bowl, and get very big gaudy rings for their entire team. With bling like that on the line, these millionaires should really be playing hard.
It won't be the Cowboys or The Patriots winning the Super Bowl this year though because they aren't in it, but it might be The Ravens or the 49ers because that's whose going to be playing in this highly anticipated game. Commercials cost 4 million for 30 seconds this year so even if the game is boring, the commercials should be really good. I know I will be gorging myself on junk food anxiously awaiting the humorous wastes of 8 million dollars Budweiser comes up with to entertain us morons and remind us to drink their beer that most of us will already be drinking anyway.
But aside from a championship football game and great commercials, the Super Bowl is so much more this year because Nick Cannon, and Beyonce will be performing at halftime. Yes, you heard me right folks, Nick Cannon himself. Can you believe it? I can't. The super star power of Nick Cannon alone makes it all worth it. I'm sure that Beyonce is pretty good too, whoever that is. Man, I can't believe I'm going to get to see Nick Cannon do whatever it is he does besides being married to Mariah Carey.
As far as the game goes it will most definitely be a football game. I'm told that the ball will even be brand new as well. I interviewed Ray Lewis myself, in my imagination, and asked him what he thought the keys to winning Super Bowl XLVII were going to be. The following is our amazing interview;
Chandra - "Hello, thank you for calling Waffle House, this is Chandra. How can I help you?"
Me - "Hello, may I speak to Mr. Ray Lewis please?"
Chandra - "I don't know if there is a Ray Lewis here?"
Me - "Could you check please, this is very important."
Chandra- "OK, fine." Chandra huffs audibly then yells out, "Is there a Ray Lewis here?!?". A short pause later and I was speaking to the man himself.
Ray Lewis - "Hello, this is Ray Lewis. Who this?"
Me - "Hello Ray Lewis, how are you today?"
RL - "I'm fine, my eggs are dry, who is this?"
Me- "This is Shawn Yankey from Laughing at Life, 2 sports Mr. Lewis. How are you?"
RL - "Laughing at what sports now?"
Me - "That's right sir and we want to know how you think the Ravens will win this years Super Bowl XLVII?"
RL - "Well, I don't know really. Who is this?"
Me - "Shawn Yankey sir, now what do you think the key to winning the big game will be?"
RL - "Shawn who?"
Me - "Yankey sir, how will the Ravens win the Super Bowl this year do you think? What do the Ravens need to do to whip the 49ers and win the big game?"
RL - "The Super Bowl?"
Me - "Yes sir, what will be the Ravens key to victory?"
RL - "Well, I don't really know...I guess they will have to score more points than the 49ers do."
Me - "Interesting, and you think if they score more points than the 49ers they will win Super Bowl XLVII?"
RL - "Well, yes. Whoever scores the most points will win the game so if the Ravens want to win they will have to score more points than the 49ers do."
Me - "Fascinating, so as the leader of the Ravens will you be telling your team to score more points than the 49ers ensuring you win the game and get to go to Disney World?"
RL - "My what? I don't play for the Ravens, I work at Home Depot. Your thinking of Ray Lewis the football player. That isn't me. Who is this?"
Me - "Shawn Yankey from Laughing at Life, 2 sports sir and you heard it here first America from Ray Lewis himself. The Ravens secret strategy to winning the big football game is to score the most points."
RL - "I told you, I work at Home Depot, I'm not the football player Ray Lewis. I'm the forklift driver Ray Lewis."
Me - "And I'm Shawn Yankey sir. Thank you for your fantastic interview with Laughing at Life, 2 sports today. Tell the waitress to bring you new eggs too, your Ray frigging Lewis after all."
RL - "Ok then, bye."
Wasn't that amazing and informative readers? I know I learned a lot from Mr. Lewis about what it takes to win football games and especially Super Bowls. We tried to reach 49ers quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, for a comment but his cell phone was disconnected. I'm sure if we could have reached him he would have had some interesting rebuttals to the claims Mr. Ray Lewis made here about how his Ravens were going to score more points than the 49ers, ultimately winning the game for the Ravens. I bet he would have been all like, "Nah-Uh, were gonna score the most points and win.", or something like that. Athletes are at their core usually very competitive so, it should be an interesting game for sure.
So, in closing, you read that right folks, Nick fkn Cannon is rocking the halftime show this year so, strap in and get ready to rock out to some Cannon during the Super Bowl XLVII halftime show. I know I'll be ready. So, until Super Bowl XLVIII this has been your Super Bowl coverage from your sports source for everything sports, Laughing at Life, 2. See you in New Orleans!