Arguing With Women
Women are amazing. They can be loving and sweet, but watch out, because they can also be vicious and evil. Don't get me wrong, Women are great but, they can also be fkn brutal. Not all of them I'm sure some are 100% sweet. The demons are just probably all the ones I've ever met. My wife being the exception. My babies is great but, I bet If, god forbid, we had a falling out, I'd see her inner demon come out too. Women can be ridiculously cruel and quite a few are also just downright crazy and completly irrational.
I'll tell you this much, they are all definitely frustrating as hell to argue with. Any woman can start a fight with you about absolutely nothing and by the end of it they can not only win it but also convince you that the whole damn thing was your fault. Every single lady I've ever known was like a fkn ninja at arguing. Not because they are right, most of the time they are dead wrong, it's because they are genetically gifted arguers.
All women are just born with that gift. It's in their DNA, a gift and talent passed down from mother to daughter since probably the beginning of time. They can start a fight with you about nothing and also pull off blaming the entire thing on you because by the end of the fight you are just so damn confused and flustered that you don't even remember what the hell started it or what y'all we're even talking about, much less why it was that you were right way back when it all began.
Women win these made up fights all the time. From what I've learned and observed over the years their strategy goes something like this..,
First, they stomp around, letting the baby cry and the phone ring, huffing and puffing loudly but every time you ask whats wrong she always just says one word - "Nothing."
That's how they get you. They break us the same way every time. They'll just keep stomping around huffing and stabbing you with their eyes for hours if necessary and every single time you ask her whats wrong you'll get the exact same answer - "Nothing."
This just goes on and on until your mind starts to unravel, no matter how much you try to stay calm, you inevitably start to lose your temper outta sheer frustration and the next thing you know you're telling her she's fkn crazy or god forbid dropping the "B" bomb. Now you've done it. Just that easily you've lost the whole damn thing.
Once you fk up and lose your temper they instantly pounce. The claws come out and they have free license to attack because you unwittingly just walked into her trap. You see, all that time she really was just mad about nothing. That whole time she was actually telling you the truth. There wasn't one damn reason for her to be mad at all, she was simply just mad because she's crazy and wanted to sharpen her claws so she tricked you into starting a fight with her that you absolutly can not win.
You were just sitting in your favorite chair, watching the game one minute and the next you're on the losing end of an argument, probably even apologizing your ass off and, you don't even know what the hell your fighting about or why in the fk she's crying.
She got you. She used her freaky female powers to break you without you even seeing it happen. Nothing can save you at this point because in a fight with a woman, logic is irrelevant.
A man in a fight with a woman doesn't have a fkn prayer because even if you do actually know what started it, you're positive you're 100% right and your even making perfect sense, none of that matters at all, because you fkd up, and called her a crazy bitch, and now that's what your fighting about no matter what started it. Because none of that stuff matters. In a fight with a Woman,Logic and reason do not matter.
If you didn't follow what I just said then, your a man and, trust me brother, none of us get it. Not a one. I have fallen into this same exact trap thousands of times, and more than likely I'll do it a thousand times more. In the end, its really quite sad, but if you like the 'gina like I do, it's inevitable. Stupid, pointless, fights, and girls just go hand in hand so, really, it comes down to a choice between your sanity, and that sweet, sweet poon tang which, for me, isn't a choice at all.
Fk my sanity, I wanna get some. So if your like me and love the ladies, just strap in brother. All you got to do is ride it out till you get to get back on and ride her out. Your sanity is really a small price to pay to get to keep your happy place.
Think about it this way, you can always smoke a J, or get yourself some Xanax for the stress of your relationship but, good old Rosie Palmer ain't never, ever, gonna replace a quality Va-JJ. So, the way I look at it, sanity is overrated. Compared to sliding your strong deep through the hot wet lips of Heaven here on Earth, the frustration of reasoning with women is well worth it to me.
Hey while your here check out some of our other great jokes..,
-- Let The Panties Hit The Floor
-- Female Orgasm Equipment
-- Headaches And Hard-Ons
-- Too Many Wieners