Manly Love Advice - E is for Earn Money

Earn Money To Buy Her Stuff

     Girls like stuff and stuff costs money so you better get a job and earn some money to get stuff for your girl. Not all girls are into money but all girls want nice stuff. They are going to get upset if you cant get them the stuff that they want so make sure that you earn enough cash so that you can. It is a proven fact that happy ladies have sex more often.

7 Items You Need To Have In Your Wallet

     I don't remember anyone ever teaching me about my wallet. I have tried and I can't remember a single soul ever teaching me anything about my wallet at all. I think that's really weird. It does explain why it took me so long to master the wallet though but it just doesn't make much sense that no one ever took me aside to explain my wallet to me. I decided that young men need someone to really teach them about their wallets how to unlock it's secrets. I decided boys needed a role model to look up to who knows what's important in a wallet and what isn't. I decided that man would be me so I wrote this. If you are reading this let me first say, congratulations on your new wallet. They are really very cool and I know that you are excited so we will get started right away with my 7 wallet essentials.

1. Money

     Money is probably the most important thing to keep in your wallet. Money is probably even the reason that you have a wallet. I know that it's mine. When I started getting money the first thing I did was get a wallet. Obviously, the more money you can put in your wallet the better. You want people to know that you're paid. It has been proven by science that girls like guys who are paid so try to look well paid.
     If you don't have much cash you might be wondering what you can do to look more paid. Well, there are a few secrets that I can pass on to you like put your largest bill on the outside of your roll. Make sure to pack your cash roll with as many ones underneath that big bill as you can and you will look well paid even though you're not at all. 

Money

This year for the A to Z Challenge I have decided to get a little personal with my loyal readers. During this years A to Z I am going to explore 26 of my many pet peeves. I hate almost everything so filling the alphabet will be a breeze. Today we are doing M so we will talk about Money.
     Yes, money is also a pet peeve of mine. Not money itself per se, it's more the idea and concept of money that I have a problem with. The actual monetary system itself. I just feel like the current monetary system is not only already doomed but it is also just such a fertile breeding ground for injustice and greed.
     That being said, if you would like to send me some money I would be totally OK with that because I never seem to have enough of it. I am in a constant state of broke which is a very un-fun state to be in. Literally EVERYTHING costs money and if you don't have any than you aren't doing anything. Depending on just how much money you don't have you may not only be bored but hungry and cold too. Basically, being poor sucks.

Bills

    You may have noticed that we havent been around for you lately.  The reason is I have been without Internet because I'm poor and couldn't pay my cable bill and still eat, so being fat I chose food, and unfortunatly that meant that you, my loyal constant reader, has been screwed out of your precious Laughing At Life 2 funny that you need and crave.
     I want you to know it was nothing you did.  Do not blame yourselves.  I still love you just as much as ever and I always will.  This was only between me and money and as soon as money and I can work out our differences I will be back and things will be ok once again.  Stay strong and know I'm proud of you for how well you've handled this.

Elitists and how to care for them

     If our society has taught us anything it's that rich people are simply just much better and far more important than us lazy, mostly toothless, uneducated poor people.  We underachieving 99% should know this by now, no matter how slow we may be.  Movies, television, and magazines tell us everyday yet, some of us still just don't seem to understand what our role in society is here at the bottom.
     Well, I'll tell you what our role as the poor is - our role is to care for the rich like they need and deserve.  We need rich people in a capitalist society so we better learn to care for them or they just might take their money to foreign countries, who know how to respect and care for elites, just like they have already taken most of their jobs.  So, buck up Americans, we need to respect our rich, and learn to love the scraps they give us to live on because, they don't even have to give us those scraps, they are just better than us, and that is just how it is.