I hate people. Ideally I would never deal with them at all but we do not live in an ideal world. In my day I have worked quite a few customer service jobs, which are the worst jobs in the USA if you didn't know that. I have always thought it was very odd that a job that requires such immense self control would be higher paying but nope. Customer service jobs are considered low skill level jobs hence you are usually paid right at minimum wage to put up with the general public's bullshit. It's ridiculous. Anyway's I know a little from all that about people and more importantly how to deal with them. Like anything else understanding people comes from watching them. You have to study people to truly understand them. You get a lot of time to do that working in customer service. Your whole job is to watch and deal with people. What I've done is taken all that research and condensed it so that I could share it with my loyal readers because I am great. The following are 7 major personality traits people display and how to deal with each one. So enjoy, and you're welcome.
- AddictionI suffer from this one and my OCD does not help things either. I actually tend to avoid things that I think that I might like too much for fear that they will steal a piece of my life away from me. I'm serious. Even phone games. I'll get sucked inside of shit. It's fkd up. Anyway most people are addicted to something. Even straight laced people have addictions. Things like coffee and cigarettes are big business. Addiction is everywhere.
I am not saying you need to get rid of your addictions. You just need to control them. You can have fun as long as you balance it like a jedi master. Stay on the light side of the force of addiction and you'll be OK but, venture to the dark side of addiction and very quickly all can be lost. So just be careful and listen to yourself. Know your limits and be cool. You do that and things will be OK.
To be honest I have a little but of this one too but i'm not talking about normal lazy i'm talking about lazy lazy. The kind of lazy that makes your eye twitch a little when you see it. Laziness like Jabba the Hut or Jared from Subway before he could afford trips to the Philippines. That kind of lazy is dangerous. It will kill you. Look at Gilbert Grape's Mom. That was messed up.
Do something everyday to avoid becoming a lazy ass. It doesn't have to be a lot just something will do. If your ass is numb walk around a bit, walk your dog, have sex. As you can see, there are plenty of options for activities to do while you do stuff. Find something you like and do it and you should be good. Otherwise, they'll have to burn your house down when you die too.
Im guilty about this one only as much as the normal person would be. Everybody is cranky from time to time. People are a pain in the ass and dealing with them constantly is enough to make anyone snap and hit someone with more than the socially acceptable level of truth for social situations. Jack Nicholson was right, people can't handle truth. People like to be lied to. They like the truth to be well coated in sugar.
This one is tough because people really suck real bad but if you play defense with their bullshit you can stay less cranky. You gotta maneuver their passive aggressive jabs like Steve Segal. Bruce Lee kick their ass with heavy sarcasm and grin innocently like Michael J Fox and shit. It's the only way. Fight fire with fire.
I've got this one too but not above a level that an open bar or a twelve pack can't cure. I'm the type of guy that hangs back in large groups. I'm not necessarily scared of human contact its just that I'm not nearly as outgoing sober as I am intoxicated. People like me have alcohol to fall back on. Some people though that isn't enough. If you are one of these unfortunate folks you still want love so what do you do?
Well, you can do a few things if you have money. You could use prostitutes, you could get a mail order bride, or even a sex robot. If you don't have money you're going to have to aim low. You gotta go way below your league. Remember, fat girls need love too. So do ugly guys. Fat guys too for that matter. It will be OK. Good lovin' is good lovin'.
- Stupidity (as a choice)
I avoid this at all costs and I can't really think of any topic that I am stupid about by choice or some backward belief. I think I am fairly open minded person but then again I am me so I'm not really an impartial jury on that matter. I try not to be, let's put it that way and most people are like me. However, there are plenty of people who aren't as open minded and they are also big mouthed assholes. It just seems stupidity and outspokenness goes together like peanut butter and bananas. Anyway's, some people are ignorant and you will run into them. When you do what do you do?
First thing don't argue with a stupid person. Like Twain said, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. No never argue with stupid folks, divert them. You can't fix stupid but if your nimble and stern about it you can change the subject and steer the conversation around the subject landmines that would perk up the dumbass you are talking to. Make the conversation technical so that their eyes will glaze over and they will get quiet.
- RudenessThis one I try to never ever do ever. I hate rude people and I do not want to be one. Rude people are disgusting inside and quite often outside too. If you are rude stop being rude. It's stupid to be rude. Rude doesn't get you what you want just what you think you want. It might feel good to yell at the cashier at Burger King long as you don't mind the fact that your sandwich has spit in it. See, you didn't want a spit sandwich but that's what you got because you had to be a jerk instead of being patient and getting a spit free burger.
If someone is being rude to you there are a few different options. First question is always are there witnesses. The answer to that changes everything if violence was your first choice of response. Luckily its totally legal to hurt with words. God bless the first amendment. Pick your spots though because cops don't like when you use the constitution to fuck with them. You might end up getting a blanket party in a dark alley if you push it too far.
I know I don't have this personality flaw, which I say fully aware of the irony within that statement, but I really don't think I am cocky about anything. I know some people that are though and they are probably the most frustrating people to deal with of all. As awful as cocky people are it's not impossible to beat them at their own game...