Parrot Willie Joke

     It's Monday again so instead of crying laugh at our Joke Of The Week we found for you to laugh at. Unless you just want to be a grouch ass or something like that. Your here anyway though so just read the joke and laugh already..,

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this. How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand English, can't you!?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, and even philosophy. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry bird, I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"

I Betrayed My Pussies

     I betrayed my cats the other day.  I felt totally awful about it but I still did it.  I am so close to my Kitty but, she hates me right now.  My boy cat, Petra, kinda does too but not as much as she does.  I had to do it though.  She made me. She wouldn't stop getting pregnant.  That's how I got him to begin with.
     I knew I was going to do this to her ever since she had him.  She had to get spayed.  I was doing it to both of them actually.  Because, I thought they were both girls.  Ones not.  I found that out yesterday at the vet.  I had made an appointment to have them both spayed, like Bob Barker always said I should, and I dropped them off in the morning.  The vet called me round lunch to tell me that Petra, was a boy kitty.  I felt a whole lot less stupid when she admitted they had only found that out after they had cut into him.

Laughing News, vol5

Laughing News vol5

Comedy. News. Trust

Today in the headlines..,

I agree with Willie,  Y'all deserve that.  Not all of you but some of you.  The fact that I still see Romney signs in my town and my towns poor just blows my mind.  In fact, a lot of what I see out there troubles me.  Let's open our eyes already people.  How can anyone who isn't rich support Romney?  I mean hell, if you don't wanna vote for Obama, you can still write in Ron Paul.  Honestly though, I'd love to see Obama get a 2nd term, that Key & Peele Obama Anger Translator sketch is hilarious.
   

Psychic's aren't just cold hustlers, they also make stupid people very happy by allowing them to pay them money to hear what they want to hear.  The stupid find much value in psychic's and even though their getting ripped off we say fk 'em, they're stupid.  For more on the stupid read Stupid People Love To Talk.

 




These girls are pretty but, I don't trust 'em.  Nothings free, and chicks lie.  Especially hot chicks.  Well, maybe that isn't fair.  I'm just jaded because my first wife was a soul less pathological liar who sucked my soul dry.  For more on my adventures in marriage with a succubus read, Evil/Ex-Wife, or for more info you can also check out Fat Cheating Whore.