You know what's even better than sex? Kinky, nasty, dirty sex that's what, and people the world over know this little fact but despite its immense fan base not that many folks actually admit to being into it. We just haven't come far enough as a species to talk about our various kinks openly I guess. I say that realizing that the previous statement only holds true in the majority of the world but for the sake of time and laziness I'm judging us all as a group. We're just too hung up and worried what others may think of us once they know about they messed up sexual fantasies we act out in our minds as well as in our bedrooms. In certain regards it makes sense for us to be this way because the thing that makes something kinky is that others think its odd. Otherwise it's just normal and that's a bitch for another day.
- Bad Music
Shitty songs can be an invasive offense to your ears, but they can also be catchy as hell. I cannot count the amount of times I will have some crappy bubblegum pop song stuck on repeat in my head for hours even though I honestly couldn't even tell you how it got there if my life depended on it. There was a recent university study done using teenage children they found watching the children's brainwaves as crappy Pop music was played and they could predict hit songs with 100% accuracy just by watching the pleasure centers of the brain they knew the test subject liked it whether they said they did or not. Turns out that simple, catchy, and easy to sing along with songs please our minds in a way science doesn't even yet fully understand. Now you don't have to be ashamed of liking that crappy song because you can just blame science.
- Crappy TV and Movies
Do you ever wonder why terrible movies and unwatchable TV shows keep getting made? It's not because people don't like to watch 'em it's because people fucking love to watch them. They keep getting made and will keep getting made because they get the biggest ratings. Americans love to watch other people doing things because we certainly aren't going to do anything so someone should. We live through our "T.V. Friends" like the Kardashians so that their experiences and accomplishments become "our' experiences and accomplishments because we were right there watching them through it all.
If we want to stop bad television we would have to stop watching bad television and since we are not going to do that we should just strap in.
Junk food is amazing. As a matter of fact I have a way to tell if something is bad for you without even reading the label. I just taste it and if it tastes good its bad for you. Its just that easy. As a matter of fact I've found that the better it tastes the worse it will be for you. It tastes so good that even knowing that it is killing me I eat the shit out of it and will continue to. That's how good junk food is.
Everybody likes junk food. People that say that they don't and they are called liars because absolutely everyone does. Junk food is a billion dollar industry for a reason. It's fucking delicious. Since everybody likes it and we all know that to be true, eat your junk food but, as with all things, do it in moderation. Junk food will make your ass fat.
- Cute Babies/Animals
This one might be just a masculine thing but everybody loves cute little babies and we all want to become a goofy baby-talking idiot around them. I don't care what we say we think babies are adorable and we are dying to pick it up and make stupid faces and coo and shit. But if you are a man you have to be all self conscious about that shit. It isn't fair because we all want to cuddle that baby. Why be ashamed that you want to baby talk?
- Doing Drugs
The war on drugs will never be won and the reason it won't is because drugs are amazing and far more people feel that way than will ever admit to it. But not owning up to it won't stop them from doing it so the war on drugs is unwinnable and a joke. It is motivated solely by money. It is profitable for drugs to be illegal and for most drugs that is the entire reason that they are illegal. I think we all know that I am talking about marijuana. Legalize that shit already. It's not even a drug it's a fucking flower for chrissake.
Anyways, drugs are bad so don't do drugs but marijuana is an herb so that's like a flower which is natural and not a drug hence fine to enjoy but not drugs, drugs are not fine at all. If you are still going to do drugs anyway even though I just told you not to at least share your drugs. It's just good manners to share and it brings good karma or some shit too I heard. Whatever you do, don't be a narc. You don't want to be that. That's fucked up bro.
Have you ever masturbated? Of course you have, it feels amazing. Everyone masturbates but think about this, how many people do you talk to about masturbating? If you are like me the answer is zero. Why not? If we all masturbate why can't we discuss it? I want too. I want my kids to live in a world where it's normal to talk about stroke style with your buddies. When That happens we can truly be free to love ourselves in the open. Well, not in the open but, you know what I mean. It will be great.
Until then, lock the door. If the door doesn't lock you've got to decide if it's possible. Know your exits. Test viewing angles and make sure to be careful.