Enjoy these three funny jokes that I found or overheard...
A wife comes home and finds her husband in bed with another woman. She immediately flies into a fit of rage at the sight. Fire in her eyes, she walks over to the bed, grabs her husband by the willy, and pulls him out to the garage. She puts his now flaccid penis in a vice, breaks off the handle, and leaves him there, trapped, while she walks over to a rack of tools. He frantically tries to escape, but the vice won't budge. Just as she reaches for a saw, her husband says, "Dear god, you're not going to cut it off, are you?!" She stops shouting.
Walks to her terrified husband, saw in hand.
Throws it on the ground beside him.
Looks him deep in the eyes and says, "No. I'm just going to set the house on fire."
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Impressed he buys himself a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?" she asks, "What makes them so special?" "Well", he says, "There are three colors. Gold, silver, and bronze. "What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asked. "Gold of course", the man says proudly. The wife smiles and responds, "Really? Why don't you wear the silver. It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Three nuns are walking through a park. All of the sudden, a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun had a stroke, then the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun couldn't bring herself to touch it.
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