Looking 4 Work w/Earl vol1

I'm Earl's best friend... Hire him OK?

     I'm Earl, and I'm lookin for work because the man repossessed my truck I used to drive, and I also lost my drivers license over only 3 DUI's.  I have been lookin for a job for three years so I know a lot about lookin for work.  Here's today's tips...
     1.  Don't ever fart during your interview - Even if you think its going to be a squeaker its always wrong to risk it.
     2.  Never say you will be homeless when they ask where you will be in 5 years - This question is a tough one.  The best I can tell your supposed to lie and say you'll be the boss or some sh*t.  Who knows???
     3.  Don't tell them you date a truck stop hooker EVER - No matter how classy she is, bosses don't seem to respect a good, easy toothless lady.
     4.  Fill out the whole application - I mean the whole dang thing too, name and everything.

     5. Always go to the job interview - This one has got me at least 13 times.  I'd think I had the job for sure but just because I didn't show up to the interview, somebody else who did go would get it.

     I hope these tips help y'all find a job.  They haven't helped me yet but, they say if you can't do, teach so, maybe y'all can get a job from my tips.  If you do get a job loan me twenty bucks for beer.  I'm good for it!


-- Message from Shawn... 'Don't hire Earl.  Earl isn't reliable or even a real person.  Also, don't ever tell Earl that he isn't real.  He will get paranoid.'