|I'm Earl's best friend... Hire him OK?|
1. Don't ever fart during your interview - Even if you think its going to be a squeaker its always wrong to risk it.
2. Never say you will be homeless when they ask where you will be in 5 years - This question is a tough one. The best I can tell your supposed to lie and say you'll be the boss or some sh*t. Who knows???
3. Don't tell them you date a truck stop hooker EVER - No matter how classy she is, bosses don't seem to respect a good, easy toothless lady.
4. Fill out the whole application - I mean the whole dang thing too, name and everything.
5. Always go to the job interview - This one has got me at least 13 times. I'd think I had the job for sure but just because I didn't show up to the interview, somebody else who did go would get it.
I hope these tips help y'all find a job. They haven't helped me yet but, they say if you can't do, teach so, maybe y'all can get a job from my tips. If you do get a job loan me twenty bucks for beer. I'm good for it!
-- Message from Shawn... 'Don't hire Earl. Earl isn't reliable or even a real person. Also, don't ever tell Earl that he isn't real. He will get paranoid.'