Laughing News, vol7
Comedy news you can trust
In The Headlines...
Cookie Monster attacked a 2yr old boy in Times Square because the child's parents couldn't supply the $2 for the picture they had taken with the monster quickly enough. When Cookie Monster demanded his payment and was told he would have to wait while the father of the boy got some cash, he became enraged and pushed the stroller so hard the boy flew out into the street. Elmo, who also posed for the picture, couldn't be reached for comment.
A southwest Ohio day care worker has been charged with assault for biting a 5 year old child to teach him not to bite others. The 56 year old day care worker, who is apparently a moron, was released without bail because our justice system is inept.
In Montana a man who doesn't carry a wallet on advice from his chiropractor has $500 eaten by his dog. When he had stopped for dinner he left the dog in the car with 5 $100 bills and a $1 bill. The dog ate all the hundreds but left the dollar unharmed because it's all about the Benjamin's baby. The man salvaged the scraps of the money from the dogs droppings, and sent them into the treasury in hopes of having it returned to him.